Something happens to time right about when our kids begin Jr. High and High School. Instead of the days creeping by ever-so-slowly like they seemed to in the early years (remember that?!) suddenly there is a shift in the universe; In the blink of an eye, time speeds up. The days fly by. Our kids go from being merely children, to adolescence…teenagers. They grow inches while they sleep…everything changes, and adulthood? Is lurking just around the corner.
When we hit these years it is super important that we be intentional in our parenting. We no longer have the leisure of long days to hang out and naturally get to know our kids. They may no longer run to us with their questions, and one day we realize they have quit begging us to lie in bed to snuggle and talk a little more about allofthethings.
(This is all normal and healthy, but ouch, right?)
Instead it can be hard to find time to talk to our kids at all. Between school and sports and work and friends, just sitting down to a meal together can require a multi-tiered calendar system. We find ourselves exchanging text messages instead of real conversations, emoji’s for hugs, and communicating only the most important information as they go about their now-busy life.
So the days pass and the years pass and here’s what can happen: We can forget to talk to our kids about some of the really important things. We can neglect to have some of the conversations that matter the very most. We can find our kids preparing to launch, and wondering where in the world time went…
But it doesn’t have to happen like that.
With a little intentional effort, we can be sure to connect with our tweens and teens. With a little direction, we can know that we have covered the topics that will impact their life. Now, and later. Time will still fly by, to be sure, but we can have peace knowing that we communicated about some of the most important things at the most important time.
And though there are a lot of good things you can talk to your kids about, there are a few topics I think are especially valuable. Relevant. Foundational to our kids’ lives and futures. And because I think these are so important, I decided to share them in a new mini-series: A list of conversations for parents to have with their teens and tweens now. These topics might open doors of communication, and will hopefully lead to even more conversations that matter. They won’t cover everything but they are a good start.
I am writing this series for parents of both teens and tweens, so you will be able to adjust each topic to the age and maturity level of your kids. Ideally these are conversations you can have both in the early (middle school) years, and again in high school, adjusting them to fit their ages and stages as you go.
In my next post (soon!) I will share the first conversation in the series. Along with the topics themselves, I’ll give a few suggestions for how to best approach the conversations as well as any tips or tools I’ve found as I have been walking with my boys through their tween and teenage years.
I hope you stick around to catch all of the conversations! (To be sure not to miss any, subscribe to my blog and you’ll get a simple email notification each time I post. 😊 Click here –> Subscribe
And…I hope you will share this introduction with your friends so that they can get in on the series from the beginning. 🙂
Join this conversation below! Please share in the comments any specific topics/concerns/conversations that you would like me to cover in this series!
Thank you so much for being here! Your input and awesomeness is what keeps me coming back…
XO
Monica
Links to ALL OF THE POSTS IN THE SERIES:
Talking to your kids about identity and self image
Talking to your kids about their FUTURE
Talking to your kids about how to treat the opposite sex
Talking to your kids about peer pressure
Looking forward to reading this series.
I have a 12 year old boy who’s suddenly taller than me ! Really looking forward to reading to reading this. Thank you
Isn’t that crazy!!? Thanks for stopping in and I hope this series is helpful to you! Much aloha-
I am looking forward to your new series. My son is 12,
so this is perfect timing for me.
I discovered your blog recently and am so grateful for it. I’m a mother of two boys, 9 and 13 and I was specifically looking for parenting advice from moms who have teens and could share their insight and wisdom.
I love your honesty and practicality in your approach parenting boys. I read book on parenting boys, but your post will also help me navigate this new phase of my life . , and I am looking forward to more.
Thank you!
a San Diego mom
Thank you so much Angela! I’m so happy you are here, and I love to think i might offer a bit of encouragement! Please keep in touch! 😉 Much aloha to you!
Looking forward for the future!!
I’m looking forward to this series. I hope this is still good timing because my boy is 17. He will have his licence and car soon.
Thank you!!
Looking forward to this series! As a mom of teenage boys, the three things on my mind lately are their friends, driving & dating. Hope to see those topics–esp the dating one 🙂
I’m really looking forward to reading this series and learning all I can. Thank you 😊
so glad to hear that! Thanks for commenting! Much aloha-
Monica, such a great idea! Our guys are grown, but I remember how time shifted and sped up as they matured. I was fortunate to stay at home while they were here, so I adjusted my schedule to fit theirs. This meant lots of conversations that began well after midnight! (And naps during the day so my eyes stayed open for those important moments.) Such sweet times! I know you are treasuring them.
Looking forward to the wisdom!!
Yay! Great timing! So looking forward to this one! Thank you, Monica! 🤗
So glad! Thank you. 🙂
Looking forward to this! 🙂
Thank you!
Great Series! Important things for us parents to do. Finding the right opportunities means spending time with our kids, building a strong relationship of open and honest conversation is helpful.
Your timing is PERFECT. Just yesterday I was on a hike with our kids & some friends & I didn’t even see my keiki until I caught up to them at the waterfall! And then again going down, I didn’t see them until I got to the parking lot! I felt so many emotions hiking alone, trying to be comfortable that they weren’t hiking with me at all…but it was hard to stay positive & I felt a bit like “just a taxi Mom.” I missed their chatter & company. A lot. They are 12 & 9 & growing so fast. I am hurting. Letting go is not easy for me. I naturally want to hold them close, and they let me A LOT, but also Less & Less. So the “ouch” you mentioned is very raw to me right now & I know it’s just going to get “Ouchier!” Mahalo Monica, from your fellow WA State Grom Mom friend in Kahalu’u.
Oh Sarah, I hear you…You are such an intentional, loving momma, of course you’ll feel the ouch. But I am certain your kids will always stay close to you–just in a different way. I do hope this series is an encouragement to you. Bless you (and hope to bump into you again one of these days!! :))
Awesome. Looking forward to reading more!
I look forward to this series! I have a 12 year old boy and 14 year old girl. 7th and 8th grade so the timing is perfect.
Thank you!
Oh so glad. Thank you for the comment and I hope you find the series encouraging! 🙂 xo
YES!!! This is so necessary and such great timing. Looking forward to the series. Thank you!!
Thank you Ali! So glad to hear it. I’m looking forward to it as well! XO
Really looking forward to this series.