Monica Swanson

the grommom

Miscellaneous

How We have Raised Kids Who Love God.

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I hear from a lot of parents who really want their kids to grow up to know and love God.  I want so much to support families in this way, so I thought I would share a bit of what we’ve done with our boys, in case it might encourage a few people…

As most of you know, my husband Dave and I have four sons.  As I write, they are ages 19, 17, 14, and 8.

And as I write, all four of them really, truly, independently love Jesus.  (*Levi, my youngest, is just eight, so it’s fair to say his faith is still developing…) But as for the 3 teenagers?  I can say without any hesitation that they have a personal and committed faith.

So I get asked, a lot:  How did this happen?  How have we (so-far) raised our boys to love God and want to walk with Him?…Boys who have not rebelled or turned away from the faith we have taught them.  Boys who take their own faith seriously.

*Photo by Emily Turner 

Well, next summer you’ll find a whole chapter in my upcoming Boy Mom Book which will dive deeper into this topic, (*wink* for the shameless early sales pitch) but for now I will share a few things…

First of all — important to keep in mind:

Parents have a great opportunity to give their kids a foundation of faith, but only God can truly change a heart.  Also, we need to remember that every kid has a free will, so even if parents do everything right, a child may choose not to follow God.  Finally, I am aware that my boys are not “done” yet…they may have twists and turns ahead in their lives, and I would never be so naive as to think we are through parenting or they are through growing.

Next, a few things that Dave and I have not done:

We have not brain-washed our boys, or force-fed them with religion.
We have not just prayed, and then hoped for the best.
We have not told them to live one way,  but lived our lives another way.

So what have we done?  

Dave and have tried to live out our own faith authentically in front of our boys.  (Not perfectly, but authentically.)  We introduced our boys very naturally to a relationship with God from a young age. We have answered some questions, and let them wrestle with others.  (<– Luke just told me this was key to his own faith development.)  We have stayed plugged into a local church, and valued the community that offers.  We have remained humble and aware of our constant need for God in our lives.

I’m pretty sure all of that ^^ has had the greatest impact on our boys’ personal decision to follow Jesus.

But Dave and I also try to be intentional in teaching our boys how to grow spiritually.  We know how much we need to spend time with God each day, and we have taught our boys the importance of doing the same.  We call that daily time with God, “devotions”.  (which, sorry if that is a bit of a Christianeze term, but it’s what we call it. 🙂 )

What are “Devotions”?  Practically speaking, “devotions” are just taking the time to read the Bible and pray.  Sometimes the boys also read a devotional book or app (I’ll list a few at the bottom) but really we just emphasize the importance of spending time growing to know God better.

There is no formula. It’s not a religion, but a relationship.

What do they read:  When they’re young, Dave or I will read a kids’ devotional book and a few verses from the Bible with our sons, and say a short prayer with them.  By Jr. High, the boys do devotions on their own.  We encourage them all to read a chapter of Proverbs each day.  This is a great habit (for a lifetime) because Proverbs is packed with wisdom for every day life, and it has 31 chapters, making it perfect to read a chapter a day all month.  They also read a chapter or two from another book of the Bible (The Gospels — Matthew, Mark, Luke and John– are a great place to start.)   All of our boys love reading the Bible, and I have to believe that has much to do with the fact that they’ve grown up learning from it and have realized how interesting and valuable it is to their lives.  I also believe that their love for God’s Word has protected them from all kinds of trouble.

Psalm 119:9 says:  “How can a young man keep his way pure?  By living according to your word.”

USING A SPIRITUAL JOURNAL:

We have encouraged our boys to use a spiritual journal as part of their devotions.  We have taught our boys to use the acronym “SOAP” for journaling.

S.O.A.P. Bible journaling goes like this:

“S” is for Scripture.  Read a chapter or two from the Bible, and find a verse (or two or three) that stands out to you.  Copy it down.
“O” is for Observe.  Observe what is going on in that verse.  Who is speaking and what context is it in?  (especially as kids get older and more mature it is crucial that they learn not to take Scripture out of context…)
“A” is for Application.  How might this verse apply to your life?  How might it encourage you, or someone else?  Does it challenge you?  Inspire you?  Write it down!
“P” is for Prayer.  This is a chance to write a prayer for the day…Perhaps something related to what they just read, or something else. Prayer is just talking to God so this can be as long as they need.

And to help guide kids in prayer, I have another acronym! 🙂  (why not?)  We use “ACTS.”

A.C.T.S. Prayer guideline goes like this:  

“A”  is for Adoration:  We like to open up prayer by praising God for how good He is…It is good to remind ourselves that God is Holy and worthy of our praise.
“C” is for Confession:  This is a time to confess our sins and ask forgiveness from God.  (1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”)
“T” is for Thanksgiving:  This is about taking the time to thank God for everything –big or small.  We ALL have things to be thankful for, and it does a heart good to stop and thank Him.
“S”  is for supplication:  This is a time to bring our needs before the Lord.  Physical, emotional, relational needs, as well as the needs of others.  (He knows our needs before we even ask, but He loves to hear us ask.)

Just the beginning:  This is just scratching the surface of what we do to support our boys in their spiritual development.  This goes along with being intentional about influences in our kids’ lives and guiding them in all ways.  Parenting is no joke, and faith is a big deal to Dave and I, so we make it a big priority as we raise them.  It is incredibly rewarding to hear from my son who is away at college, where he continues to do devotions each morning, as well as gather with friends for Bible studies and prayer.  It makes me think of the verse in 3 John 1:4 that says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”  I fully agree!

It is never too early or too late… to encourage your kids to grow spiritually.  Giving them a Bible and a journal is a great way to begin to work on a daily habit of time with their Creator.  I’d love to hear from you in comments if you want to share what you have done with your kids in the way of daily devotions or spiritual development.  Or if you have a question or challenge along these lines, feel free to leave it in comments!

IF you want to be first to know when my Boy Mom Book launch team opens, leave your name over on THIS PAGE!  (Launch team will get advance copies of the book and some special perks along the way!)

LIST OF DEVOTIONAL BOOKS:

(Amazon Affiliate links -)

for Elementary  and Jr. High age:

The One Year Book of Devotions for Boys
Growing with God: 365 Daily Devos for Boys (VeggieTales) (they also have one for girls!)
Jesus Calling: 365 Devotions For Kids

Jr. High:

Luke (14) likes going online and using the Fellowship of Christian Athletes Devotional (http://fcaresources.com)
He has also used: Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence.

Older teens:

My older boys prefer to read through a book of the Bible, but they have also used the Jesus Calling devotional, or gone through various books with their youth group leader.  (Currently, Jonah is going through Multiply by Francis Chan.)
They have also used: My Utmost for His Highest: 

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this.  Please share it with your friends using the share buttons below, and subscribe to my blog for future posts and updates!  

Also: if you think it would be helpful for me to offer a printable of the Journal or Prayer Acronyms, let me know and I’ll try to whip one up! 😉 

Aloha, Monica

Favorite Pumpkin Granola

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Sharing our favorite pumpkin granola recipe below.  But first:

You guys.  I have a son in college.  Does anyone else feel weird about that?

No, this has nothing to do with my Pumpkin Granola recipe (except that maybe I should be sending some to him in a care package?)  I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.  Truth is, I just sat down at a coffee shop to put this post together, and got side tracked on Instagram (it happens.)  When I saw that my college son, who has not posted any actual photos from college yet, had just posted something, it stopped me in my tracks.

My boy.  He’s totally a college student.  He has tons of friends and he’s a bit of a goofball, and he loves his classes and his life is everything I ever dreamt it would be.  (and yes, he proudly invests in the stock market for himself and his brothers “clients.”  )

But the thing is, ten years ago this kid was in 4th grade, reading Hardy Boys books, and a year ago he was home eating my homemade granola while filling out college applications, and now he’s in college thousands of miles away from home.  And I miss him.  But that’s just part of the whole cycle of life thing, right?

It happens, Moms.  They grow up.  Then they go away and we miss them.

So make them granola while they’re around.  

That’s really all the deep mom wisdom I have for you today.

Now on to the granola:

Really, we should all be making granola this time of the year because we can bake ALL of the warm and cozy flavors of fall right into it:  Pumpkin. Cinnamon. Maple. Toasty pumpkin seeds (or nuts of your choice). Just typing all of those words might have made me drool a tiny bit.  (which wouldn’t be a big deal if I weren’t sitting  in a coffee shop.  Oops.)

This granola is wonderful topped with cold milk, or a dollop of yogurt and an extra dash of cinnamon.  And if you still need an extra nudge for making it, stop a second and consider that heavenly moment when you snag the irresistible chunks off the pan straight out of the oven, into your mouth.  (go ahead and imagine, we can wait…)

Need I say more?

In case you’re new to homemade granola or have any hesitations…I have good news for you:  I’ve made many versions of granola over time, and it’s really hard to mess it up.  There’s a lot of wiggle room for switching out ingredients, and even cooking it so it’s a little more…or less, done.  This pumpkin batch is no exception.

Note:  I took these photos a full year ago with plans to share the recipe back then.  (hold up:  JOSIAH took these photos for me a year ago.  That was back when he was still living in my home and not away at college, and in case you missed it before:  These kids really do grow up.)  Anyways, somehow the post fell into the blog dashboard where it hibernated for an extended winter season.  So recently I pulled it back out, played with some variations of it, and finally landed on the family favorite.  This will explain why the ingredients in the recipe may not appear exactly as you see them in the photos.  (Main difference:  I’ve added pepitas (pumpkin seeds)  to today’s recipe.  You’ll love ’em, but of course they are not required.)

Nuts or no nuts, just remember —  IT’S FALL, and pumpkin granola is way too easy to make to NOT make. (you get my point, right?)

Here’s the printable recipe, AND…(for the first time ever!) I’ve included the nutrition facts as well.  **I’m using a new recipe app so I hope you like it! 

Print

Pumpkin Maple Granola

Course Breakfast or snack
Cuisine healthy snack!
Keyword granola, pumpkin granola
Prep Time 5 minutes
Cook Time 25 minutes
Total Time 30 minutes
Servings 9
Calories 232 kcal
Author Monica

Ingredients

  • 3 cups rolled oats
  • 1/2 cup raw pepitas
  • 3/4 cup pumpkin puree
  • 1/2 cup maple syrup
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil
  • 3/4 tsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp sea salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degree.

    Mix the oats, nuts, and salt together in a large bowl.

    Whisk the wet ingredients and spices together (pumpkin, coconut oil, maple syrup, salt, cinnamon, and vanilla.) 

    Pour wet ingredients over the dry ingredients and stir to combine.

    Spread the granola mixture onto a large nonstick jelly roll pan or baking sheet.  (I like to cover my pan with parchment paper for easier cleanup.) Make sure it is spread out enough to cook evenly.

    Bake for 15 minutes, then stir.  Check again every ten minutes after that.  Mine is usually done by 25 minutes, but some ovens may require longer cooking.  Look for toasty and browned, but not dark.  

    Eat warm, or store in an airtight container for about a week.  ENJOY!

Nutrition Facts
Pumpkin Maple Granola
Amount Per Serving
Calories 232 Calories from Fat 81
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 9g 14%
Saturated Fat 5g 25%
Sodium 69mg 3%
Potassium 208mg 6%
Total Carbohydrates 32g 11%
Dietary Fiber 3g 12%
Sugars 11g
Protein 4g 8%
Vitamin A 63.5%
Vitamin C 1%
Calcium 4.3%
Iron 10%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.

I hope you’ll make it for your family, or pack it up and send it to someone you love and miss. 🙂

Let me know how you like it, and as always…I truly appreciate it when you pin and share with your friends on social media!

For more recipes, sappy sweet stories and encouragement, hit THIS BUTTON and become a blog subscriber! 

Aloha, Monica

Six Things To Do Every Day–Especially When You’re Busy.

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6 Important things to do, especially during busy seasons. 

{**Be sure to scroll down and read a little note in my PS at the end! 🙂 }

It’s that time of the year again, when everyone seems to be running in different directions.  School.  Work.  Sports.  Activities.  Sometimes it feels like we’re a bunch of ships passing in the night.  These are the days we tend to skip workouts, eat meals on-the-go, and fall asleep saying our prayers.  I have personally ended more days than I care to admit asking myself if I had any real conversations with my teenagers that day…And “Did I forget to floss Levi’s teeth (again?)”  Also:  When’s the last time I spent quality time with my husband?  

The truth is: Some very full days can be empty of meaning.Click To Tweet

No judgement here.  Clearly– I get it.  Life.  Is.  Busy.  And when life is busy we all tend to let certain things go.  (Like, how important is flossing, anyways? 😬)

But I’m here to remind you — and me — that there are a few things we should NOT neglect, no matter how busy the days are.

So here’s my list of 6 things we should all do every day..especially on the busy days!

Talk to your kids.

As in:  Put your phone away, and be present with your children, even if it’s just for five minutes a day.  Of course when they’re little, their chatter can drive you crazy test your patience, but I do believe that if you listen to the small stuff now, they’ll be more likely to let you in on the bigger stuff later.  If you have teens, ask them questions and then give them your undivided attention.  They may act disinterested, but given enough time, they usually do start talking.
(this post might help. ) 

{Also, if you haven’t yet, be sure to download my popular printable:  7 Weekly Habits for Deeper Connections with your Kids here! }

Eat some meals together.

Like, sit down.  At a table.  Together.  Even if it’s a quick meal!  I’ll be sharing some convincing data in my Boy Mom book, but suffice it to say kids who eat regular meals with the family do better in almost every area of life.  The good news is, it doesn’t have to be fancy or even homemade.  Just put the food on the table and eat it.  Together.  (and you already know this rule, but just a reminder: put the phones away while you eat!)

Invest in your marriage.

When things are busy, it’s easy to put our spouse at the end of our priority list.  We tend to take each other for granted…to be co-parents and roommates.  (after all, “it’s just a season!” we say.)  But one season leads to the next and it’s a lot easier to maintain a healthy marriage now than to repair a broken one later.  It doesn’t have to be complicated:  A playful touch as he walks by.  A short evening walk alone to catch up.  A flirty text message.  Hold that ‘welcome home’ kiss a few extra seconds.  (and let the kids see — they love to hate this stuff!)  Make marriage a priority, on the daily.♥️

Put yourself to bed (with a good book, when possible.)

It may be counter-intuitive, but the busier you are, the more you need to prioritize your rest.  It’s easy to let work spill over into your down time.   You hop on the computer to finish a project, then respond to an email, and soon enough you’re scrolling through Facebook like a zombie. (or is that just me?)  I’m working on a set time to make a cup of tea, grab a good book, and settle into bed.

BTW:  These two book just arrived and I am devouring them both already —

The Year of Living Happy: Finding Contentment and Connection in a Crazy World

Preach to Yourself: When Your Inner Critic Comes Calling, Talk Back with Truth

Stay Grounded Spiritually

Have you ever heard Martin Luther’s way of dealing with busy days? “I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer.”

OK, so Luther was radical.  

But really.  I know when I take the time to pray and read the Bible in the morning, it changes the entire direction of my day.  Also, church…worship, and spending time with people who speak truth into my life.  This fall felt like the most hectic time ever for me –with book edits and other projects (not to mention homeschooling 3 boys!) but I said yes to a small group women’s study.  And the truth is: I may leave the house feeling a little hectic some Wednesday evenings, but I always come home refreshed.  Two things are for sure:  we need God and we need each other…especially on busy days!

Get a Little Exercise:

A few minutes of huff and puff, a couple of times a week is all I have time for in this busy season.  But it’s enough to clear my mind and refresh me physically.  It’s easy to put workouts off when we’re busy, but we might ask ourselves:  Have I ever regretted a workout?  

How about you, friends?  What do you tend to neglect when life is busy?  What area of life do you personally commit to, even in the busy seasons? (come on, inspire us!)

Hope something in this list was a good reminder.  Take care of yourself and do what you can to enjoy the season.

Also: Flossing is probably a good idea too.

XO….Monica

PS  Note:  I am posting a bit less here on the blog these days, but will be sending more valuable updates, as well as encouragement (and maybe some special offers 😉 ) via email to subscribers.  If you missed the announcement about my new Island Inspirations email series, be sure to go back and read about that (and sign up for it!) HERE.  (and thanks to those of you who told me you love it, AND who have shared images on social media!  Yay!)

Aloha, Monica

A Year of Island Inspirations! (Sign up below!)

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Add inspiration to your days…all year long.  (scroll down to sign up!)

There is no doubt, Hawaii is a special place.  I know many of you have visited the islands, and have told me you immediately felt a connection.  Some of you say you feel more at home in Hawaii than anywhere else, or that a visit to the islands changed you in some way…maybe profoundly.  Some of you live here, and — like me, you’re still discovering this magical place.  Others of you, from all over the world, tell me you’ve never been to Hawaii but you are dreaming of the day you get to visit. (and I hope you do!!)

Now, to be fair, I have to remind people that living in Hawaii is not exactly a 24/7 vacation.  We have real work and real laundry, and real taxes, and our kids can act (real) badly and that wonderful sunshine we enjoy eventually makes our skin wrinkle…Also, many of you have heard me whine mention that here in Hawaii we miss out on a few of my favorite things.  (Namely:  FALL, road trips, and Trader Joes.)  Indeed, there are pros and cons to every place you could live, but there is no denying that Hawaii’s got some solid pros no matter how you look at it. 

I have lived on Oahu for nearly 18 years, and recently I started thinking it might be time to share some of the gifts from life in Hawaii with you. No, I cannot send the warm ocean water, the heavenly scent of plumeria, or an ice cold coconut, but what I can give you is nearly as awesome:  Some of the unique ways this place has  blessed me, shaped me, and inspired me over the years.

So I have put together a list of 12 Island Inspirations that I cannot wait to share with you — once a month for a full year!

And the best part is: All of these can add health, happiness, and Aloha to your life, no matter where you are!   In other words, you don’t have to move to Hawaii to enjoy them…(I mean, you can if you want, but it’s not required!)

These monthly notes will be full of fun features!  I’ll share some interesting facts, cultural traditions, and special links.  You might find a recipe or a free download to print and save. Discount codes or travel deals?  Who knows!? 🙂   But most importantly, each note will offer some Island inspiration which can help you embrace YOUR life in a new and beautiful way wherever you are!

Guaranteed you do NOT want to miss this!

But…take note:

YOU WON’T FIND ANY OF THIS ON MY BLOG!

What?!

It’s true.  This 12-month series will be sent out via email!  These little gifts of Aloha will land gently into your inbox once a month….like a warm Hawaiian breeze stopping in to refresh you.

If you are already subscribed here, you’ll receive the first “Island inspiration” next Sunday!   If you are not yet a subscriber, you can click on the button below and take 2 seconds to become one.

 

The Sunday after you sign up, (whenever you sign up,) you will receive your first Island Inspiration!

Then four weeks later, you’ll receive the next one.  And on and on.  For 12 months.  (of course you can unsubscribe from these at any time, but I don’t think you’ll want to!)

To make these monthly emails even more fun, you will find a beautiful image in each email, perfect for sharing on social media.  AND when you share it and tag me (@monicaswanson_)  and hashtag #monicasislandinspirations, you’ll be placed into a monthly drawing to win a $20 Amazon Gift card!

So what are you waiting for!?    Sign up below and get excited for your YEAR OF ALOHA to begin!

Get Island Inspirations
 

Rest assured!  On the blog I will continue to post a couple of times a month, sharing encouragement for families, great recipes, and all of my usual content. These Island inspirations are just a bonus!

I am really looking forward to this fun email series and I hope you’ll spread the word to your friends and family. You might share this post, or send them directly to the sign-up page:  www.monicaswanson.com/islandinspirations

I’m so excited for you to join me for a very special “Year of Aloha!’

Share in comments!?  Something special about Hawaii that you love?  A memory, a tradition…something that you love about the islands?…Tell your story or make a request for a future Island Inspiration post! 🙂

Aloha, Monica

The New Blog is Live!!!

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Hi Friends!

Ok, I am waaaay too excited about this news:

The blog is all fresh and new!

I mean, design-wise — it has all been remade…re-did, re-done (?)…MADE-OVER!!

I’ve been dreaming of a new look for, um, years!…and I am so excited with how it has all come together!  While spending way-to-many-hours working on everything this week (I told Gretchen, my tech wizard, we could win an email-speed contest for how quickly we could shoot messages back and forth as she worked on coding and asked questions and I answered and then asked a question back, and it seriously felt like email-ping-pong on high-speed.)

Anyways, my husband questioned me a couple of times, saying (very kindly,)  “Is this really THAT big of a deal?”  To which I could only explain that my blog home, to me, is like my little shop (or cafe, or book store) in a cute little town.  (I love cute little towns.)  And yes it is important!!  I want just the right colors and the right interior, and I want there to be fresh coffee and biscuits for my visitors…Because I may never get to have that cute little shop in that cute little town (does anyone else dream of that?) but I have THIS…My little corner of the internet…And I want it to be so welcoming and such a special place for friends to come and hang out!

And ok I got really carried away there.  But you get me, right?

Now  —  I know most of you read my blog on your phone, and that’s totally cool.  But just this once, would you do me a favor and hop on a real computer and have a look?  Be sure to CLICK ON HOME to see the new entryway (living room?  I’m not sure..) The phone version is great (thanks to Gretchen’s work) but I want you to see the real place…the full shop experience…and then to click around and get familiar.

There are new things!  New features!  A brand new Start Here page  (to help you get oriented with the site!)

Also a new About Page (which I’m likely to change a few more times because I get really weird when it comes to the About page…)

There’s a BOOK page where you can (FINALLY!) sign up to be on the first-to-know list for BOY MOM BOOK stuff, and get notified when the LAUNCH TEAM OPENS (because there will be limited space.)  Go ahead hop over there now and sign up — I’ll wait here!

There’s a speaking page…

AND…there’s a Hawaii/TRAVEL page !!! (which both will be developed over time!)

But, here’s the thing:

The site is done, but it’s not totally done.  There are a few remaining issues and projects that I’ll be tackling next week.  I just couldn’t wait to share the news now.  (I was the pregnant girl who never ever waited until I hit 12 weeks to tell people. As soon as I found out I was like “Let’s just tell everyone!!”)

One issue (and sorry in advance) is we are trying to figure out how to SPEED things up.  If you click around and the site is slow to open, hang in there– we are working on it.

—Next week we’ll be updating the recipes into a lovely gallery.  I will also be filling in many of the pages and a few blank spots on the site currently.  It’s like a house (or my shop) —  the first weekend you move in…it’s exciting, but not COMPLETE. 🙂

There will also be something BRAND NEW coming out next week, which I am so excited to share with you.

(If you are a subscriber you’ll hear about it first!)(and look at me, practicing self-control and not telling you about it yet!) 

As for now, I’d love to get some feedback on the so-far state of the blog!  I’ll take any positives, and even constructive criticism (but be nice, it’s been a long week.)  Is there too much color?  I LOVE color, but I don’t want it to look like a candy store… (or do I? 🙂 )   Anything I missed?  Definitely notice that I’m asking for your input on my TRAVEL page!  (I know some of you have good stuff to share!)

What else?… Shoot me an email at:  [email protected] or comment below!  And it would be SO kind of you to share my new site with your friends using social media buttons (or your voice!)  Thank you!  

Now I have to give BIG THANKS to the people who helped put this site together.  The incredible coding, customizing, (and email-ping-pong) skills of Gretchen Louise, and design work of Angela Bouma…along with photos by the talented photographer (and my friend 😉 ) Emily Turner.

With so much Aloha,

Monica

PS  One more exciting piece of news:  My BOY MOM BOOK just landed back in my in-box for my FINAL ROUND OF EDITS!  That means it’s almost done done done…(prayers appreciated for the next 3 weeks!)  We chose the cover!! (See BOOK PAGE) and it appears this thing is really happening!  Thank you God and thank you friends!!

Aloha, Monica

Kale, Pear, Gorgonzola Salad: Fall is in the Air.

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Well Hello, and Happy September!

September is so great because it is the lead-in to autumn.  Fall!

And fall…whether real, or (in my case) only imaginary, is the best!!

If you’ve been around a while you know that I am a big fan of fall.  I always have been.  In my dream life I spend every September through November somewhere with crisp autumn air and falling leaves… (it’s only fair that the tables are turned and I get to be jealous of some of you for a few months a year, right?…)

Instead, every year I do what I can to create a micro climate of fall in my home:  I turn on the A/C and pull out my fake pumpkins.  I light candles which fill my home with cinnamon, apple, and pumpkin scents (this has been my favorite for years: Yankee Candle Large Jar Candle, Home Sweet Home)  And I play jazz or big band music to boost the mood. (I call it the Starbucks effect.)

And eventually I will get to all of the cozy, comfort foods of fall as well:  My Perfect Pumpkin scones….Carrot ginger soup …my personal favorite (healthy (Mexican) squash casserole (<–that thing is SO good!) and of course the very best layered pumpkin dessert...

But not yet.

I mean it may be September, but for Heaven’s sake — it’s not November.  We need to slow down a little.  It’s still warm outside (ok really hot!) here.  So let’s ease our way into the season.  There will be plenty of months ahead for comfort food.

Instead, I suggest we kick of the season the right way, with FALL SALADS!  Seriously, there are so many wonderful fall flavors we can use to transform a boring green salad into a wonderful autumn masterpiece.  I am a huge fan of fall salads!

Today I am sharing one of my favorite salads because it’s pretty much foundational to your fall salad repertoire. (or it should be if it isn’t!)  This is great for weeknights or a party.  You can pair it with salmon, or a burger (we did that last night.)  You might already make something like this, though the apple cider vinaigrette is pretty special and worth checking out.

In the coming weeks I hope to share a few other salads which celebrate the colors, textures and flavors of fall.  (thinking:  butternut squash, beets, nuts and seeds, and more cheese…. 🙂 )  I’m so excited!

So…say it with me, would you?  Salad is the new (early) fall.
(no offense mashed potatoes.  We’ll get to you soon enough. 🙂 )

Find the printable recipe below.  This is enough for a regular size family (which mine isn’t, so I usually add a little more –especially of the fun toppings!)  Also, notice there are plenty of options for switching out ingredients as you like!

Print

Kale, Pear, Gorgonzola Salad

Course lunch or dinner
Prep Time 10 minutes
Total Time 10 minutes
Servings 6
Author monicaswanson.com

Ingredients

  • 6 cups crunchy kale leaves chopped into bite-size pieces. (I like baby kale pre-washed in a bag for this)
  • 1 crisp pear or apple
  • 1/2- 3/4 pumpkin seeds Walnuts are a great option here too.
  • 1/3 - 1/2 cup crumbled gorgonzola bleu cheese is great here, too.
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • Dressing:
  • 3/4 cup apple juice or cider
  • 4 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
  • 2 1/2 Tablespoons honey
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp. pepper

Instructions

  1. Whisk together all dressing ingredients. Refrigerate (can be made ahead and chilled!)
  2. Peel and core pear and slice into small pieces.
  3. Combine kale, pear, pumpkin seeds (or walnuts), gorgonzola, and cranberries.
  4. Toss salad with dressing and top with an extra sprinkle of cranberries, gorgonzola and seeds. Serve.
  5. ENJOY!

Side note on serving bowls:  My new favorite thing is to serve side salad in individual bowls!  Last summer we had dinner at our friends’ home in California and that’s how they served salad. I wondered  then – where had I been all these years!?  It’s brilliant!  It’s easier to eat salad in a bowl than on a plate, we all eat more salad when we use a bowl, and it’s way more fun.  (Cheers to the Koelsch family for the friendly dinner tip!) 

Enjoy September my friends!  But remember:  There’s no rush.  Enjoy some salad and take a few final after dinner strolls…

If you, too, love a fall salad, leave a comment and tell me about it!  And I truly appreciate it when you share recipe posts by pinning or using the social media buttons below!  Thank you so much.

See you back here soon!

Aloha,
Monica

 

Aloha, Monica

How to Launch Well: 7 Things to do Now to Successfully Launch your Kids when it’s Time

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The launch.  Sending our precious kids off – whether to college or the military, a new job,  or any other adventure, is a huge milestone in our parenting journey.  Just the mention of the launch can put a lump in a mom’s throat and a knot in her stomach, no matter how old her kids are.  Funny how our children can drive us crazy all day long, but the simple mention of  them ever leaving us can turn us into a puddle of emotions in a heartbeat.

And really:  the whole idea of launching our kids just feels wrong on so many levels.  We gave these kids life.  For years, we were their life.  They needed us, and let’s be honest;  we got a lot out of being needed.  The umbilical cord may have been cut, but the heart-strings never were.  It just feels right when they’re all gathered around us.

In a rational moment, of course, we know that our kids were made to grow up and…go.  “Spread their wings”, and “leave the nest” and all of that.  When Josiah was just a baby, I remember an older lady telling me that my greatest job was to raise him to NOT need me anymore.  Though I had the brief urge to smack her, I sensed that I needed to tuck those words away.  So I did.

And now my time has come.  Dave and I are just returning from a week in California where we dropped Josiah, our firstborn, off at college….thousands of miles away from home, across a very big ocean.

And though the emotions welled up more than once in the days leading up to the drop-off, here’s the good news:  We had a beautiful launch!  It was positive and healthy and I’m not lying when I say, it was a ton of fun.  He was so happy, and we were so happy for him.  Oh he’ll be missed plenty, but it all felt so completely right.  Now, granted, we have a couple of things working in our favor:  For one, we have 3 more boys still at home, to keep us busy and occupied.  (the empty nest will be another story, and surely, another post… 🙂 ) Also, we sent Josiah to Westmont, a small Christian college that we have great confidence in.

But honestly, I think if Josiah were in a larger school in a different setting altogether, I still would feel at peace.  Because the security I feel is not so much about the particular school or setting, but really all about the person my son is, and the relationship we have.

Now I’m not saying we’ve done everything right, and trust me — I’m always working on improving in my parenting with those left at home.  But since this launch has gone pretty darned well, and since I know many of you are following just behind me us this journey, I have reflected on what I think were the key ingredients that got us to this point…the point of a healthy launch.  And these are my best pieces of advice:

7 Things to do now, for a successful launch later

  1. Spend plenty of quality time with your children while they grow up!
    We were ready to let Josiah go because we had spent so much quality time with him throughout his years.  We’ve done a lot of life together, and we didn’t launch him with regrets, or wondering if we had missed out on anything.  (there is no denying homeschooling helps with this one.)  Yes, life is busy, but these years fly by, so make the time to get to know your children while they’re around.  Stop what you’re doing and talk to them.  Have meals together.   Be interested in what interests them…stay up late…laugh at their jokes.  Be there when they need someone.  You’ll never regret that time.
  2. Allow them to develop increasing independence.
    Kids can’t become independent over night; it happens over time.  Over the last two years, Josiah has become mostly independent.  At some point, when he continued to ask my permission for almost everything he did, (he’s super respectful that way) I said “You can quit asking me now.  I trust your judgement!”  He rose up to that independence and handled it responsibly.
  3. Teach them life skills early.
    As they gain independence, be sure your kids are learning practical life skills.  For the past couple of years, I have given Josiah the responsibility of making his own doctor appointments, servicing his car, and managing his own time and money.  He has done his own laundry (sometimes) and learned to cook some basic meals (scrambled eggs, anyone?)  I know I am launching a son who will wash his sheets occasionally, manage his time well, and seek help from a teacher or counselor if needed.  (I’m sure he’ll discover things we’ve missed, but we’ve taught him Youtube for those things.)  If you are a helicopter parent or get your self-worth from doing every….little…thing for your son or daughter, I encourage you to back off a little during their high school years. Let them wrestle with problems…Try and fail…Deal with conflict, and figure things out.  They’ll learn and grow, and it will be good for both of you come launch time!
  4. Help them develop a secure identity.
    kids who are anchored in a secure identity will have the best chance at a successful launch.  If you’ve been around a while, you know we talk a lot about identity in our home.  At some point most children (and non-children, I should add 😉 ) struggle with identity, basing their self worth on their performance (grades, sports, or other) or popularity (hello peers, and social media.)  We can make a huge difference by helping our kids develop an identity based on something unchanging.  For our family, that is God’s love and plan for their life.  Josiah went to college knowing WHO he is, and WHOSE he is. This gives me tons of peace.
  5. Make sure they are ready. (and consider a gap year.)
    In my opinion, gap years are like homeschooling:  They’re not for everyone, but I think they’re a good idea for a lot of people.  Oftentimes kids graduate from high school and feel pressure to dive right into the next thing.  Some kids are ready, but many…are not.  Then we wonder why they struggle to adjust when they face that next thing.  Josiah chose a gap year for a number of reasons:  He had skipped a grade somewhere along the way, so graduated at 17, and we thought he could use an extra year before college.  Also, he wasn’t sure where he wanted to go to college or what he wanted to study.  During his gap year Josiah explored college options and he also worked hard doing dishes and bussing tables and saved a lot of money.  He retook standardized tests and sought out more scholarships.  This one extra year between high school and college was without a doubt life changing for Josiah.  A gap year might give your child a chance to consider if college is right for them, or if they would benefit more from an apprenticeship or trade school.  Depending on your child’s personality (and state of mind) a gap year can be the greatest thing ever…or a total disaster.  (I recommend having a solid plan for the year, in advance.)  So think it through well, but I do think gap years are worthy of some consideration.
  6. Get them connected to community.
    Most post-high school paths will include living, learning, or working in a community environment.  (and often all three!)  Kids will adjust to this best if they have grown up connected to, and involved in, community.  Josiah is a quieter kid by nature, (very shy a few years ago!) but we encouraged him to get plugged into our local community as he grew up.  He established great friendships with people of all ages, helped out in youth ministry, and met with a couple different mentors regularly.  Knowing that my son is comfortable reaching out to people and being involved in community wherever he is brings me a ton of security.

  7. For us Moms:  Make sure you have a life of your own!
    When it comes to the launch, Moms, it will really help if you have some happy things to focus on…outside of parenting.  After saying goodbye to Josiah, Dave and I went right into discussing book covers and blog posts (bless my husband.)  We talked about house projects and the possibility of getting another dog. (makes sense, right?)   I made sure to bring a great book on the airplane, and poured over magazines for recipe inspiration.  Whether you have a job you love, a hobby (new or old) to dive into, or you find a way to serve others in need (which is good for us on so many levels) you’ll benefit from having positive things to focus on.  Set yourself up by taking the time to find some interests and passions while your kids are growing up.  You need them.  And your kids need to know you have them, too. 😉 

There is more I could say on this topic, and one day I’d love to share some tips on what to do (and not do) during and after the launch (I’m still in the middle of this part!) but I hope a few of these tips will be helpful!

If you’ve had a successful launch, or perhaps learned some lessons from a less-than-stellar one 😉 , please do share in comments!  Also any questions, thoughts or ideas…I always love hearing from you! 

ALSO:  If you’ve enjoyed this post I would love it if you would share with your friends and family using the social media buttons here.  Thank you! 

With much Aloha,

Monica

Aloha, Monica

Coffee Date: Back to School, My Son is Going to College, and I-could-use-a-hug-Edition.

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Aloha Friends!

Man, did summer fly by or what!?

And how are you?  Refreshed? Worn out?  Ready for a new season ahead?  I want to hear, so please don’t forget to make it to the bottom and leave me a little update!  (That’s part of the deal with coffee dates! )

I’m excited to catch up on things…So grab a seat (and your favorite beverage!) and let’s dive in! 

First, let’s get the painful exciting part over with:  By the time this goes live I will be in California, getting Josiah set up and dropped off at college at Westmont in Santa Barbara.  *gulp*.   He’s so ready.  And I’m so not ready too. 😉  Really truly, I am so happy for him.  But really truly, I’m gonna miss this kid like crazy.

Our first couple days we’ll be hanging with the Thompsons in Ventura, while we shop for all of the “Twin XL” dorm bedding, and other college-life necessities.  Dave will meet up with us midweek, and then we will get Josiah moved in, go to Parent Orientation meetings, and have a few days to connect with friends and explore Josiah’s new “home” a bit.  All of this while thinking every happy thought so that my heart doesn’t break into pieces in front of Josiah’s new friends and classmates.  (That is SO embarrassing.)

Phew!  That’s done, now quick, let’s switch topics!

Our summer went by too fast, but left us with some great memories.

I didn’t know it was going to happen, but Dave signed Levi up for a “real” surf contest and now it seems his competitive surf career has officially begun.

He took 4th place in his first Official HSA (Hawaii Surf Association) event in Honolulu.  So much fun!!  Thankfully, Luke was able to paddle out in the channel to coach him along.  (Levi was the youngest out there by quite a bit.)  It was a day for the history books. 

In other news:  Our homeschool year started.

I feel like we’re getting in the groove pretty well already.  You wanna know my favorite thing?  Levi is starting to love reading!  And you wanna know what helped?  A little tip Andrew Pudewa gave me when we did the podcast interview a couple of months ago.  Here’s how it goes:  You start reading a really good story, OUT LOUD, to your kid, then you choose a really exciting point in the story and you say, “Sorry, we’ll have to finish later!”  You leave the book open to the page you left off on, and walk away.  Next thing you know you “catch” your kid devouring the story on his own.  (So sneaky and so effective!)

Also:  ^^^  Little boys love mystery books! 🙂

It has also helped that Levi’s big brothers have been reading a ton all summer long.  (recent list of their favorite books,  here. 😉  I’m gonna miss moments like this, aren’t I?  

One more time:  “I.  Can.  Do.  This.”

In other news:  It’s been incredibly pretty on the north shore this summer.   Postcard pretty.

The boys painted our friends’ fence a few weeks back.  I stopped by to check on them and my suspicions were confirmed:   I always knew Luke was a little Tom Sawyer. 🙂 

Fun update!  Raise your hand if you remember the ASK MONICA series I was doing for a while?…(Like 2 years ago.)

(For the rest of you…) For a while I was doing a monthly blog post where I responded to some of the most frequently asked questions I get via email or on the blog.  This was so much fun, but I kind of just fell out of the habit.  I always do my best to respond to emails, but I just can’t get to all of them…

SO, I thought for fun I would try doing a series of short (5 -ish minute) YouTube videos, responding to some of the most frequently asked questions!  So far I’ve done 2:  One on the topic of Sibling Squabbling (recorded on the beach! 🙂 and another sharing some of my personal tips on “how to eat less” (it’s honest and practical.)  I have a marriage related video coming soon as well.  What else do you want me to cover?  Please tell me in comments!

And of course, the best way to catch future Ask Monica 5-minutes videos?  SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube channel!

GREAT LINKS:

What’s new on the internets?!

Well, for starters...THIS Facebook post was exactly what I needed to make me bawl my eyes out help me realize why it is so hard when kids go away to college.  (warning:  Do not read without tissues nearby.)  She basically nailed my heart with the whole “I was the sun and they were the planets” deal.  Oh my heart. 

**Check out the new Ask the BoyMom series over at Turquoise Grace.   I got to be the first interview in the series, and now that I read it I’m all teary.  (Did I mention I’m taking my first born to college this week?)

More good stuff:

The Importance of Encouraging Curiosity in your Children.  From the Guardian.  LOVE THIS!

This is your child’s brain on video games.  (Yikes!)(But such an important read!)  From Psychology Today.

My post, The Instagram Five post was featured on the For Every Mom site last week.  If you missed it before, hop over and check it out there. 😉

How complaining rewires your brain for negativity.  Interesting!  (good to teach kids!)  From the Globe and Mail.

RECIPES:

Sweet Cherry Oat Bars  From the Lean Green Bean site.  MUST enjoy the summer fruit while it’s still around!

Thai Noodle Salad with Peanut Lime Dressing.  Mmmm!  From Pinch of Yum.

Cauliflower Pizza Crust for the win!!  From the Minimalist Baker

The best Nanaimo Bars Oh wow these look good! By Simple As That

And I just have to finish with this.  Even if you’ve already seen it.  Because it’s really as good as it gets.  And it could possibly make for world peace.  Or at least better family relations. 😉

LOVE to you all!  Thank you times a million for ALL of the love and support as I face this bittersweet chapter of life.

Now!! Leave a comment below saying HI, telling me how your summer was, what’s new this fall, or anything else.  (Also feel free to leave requests for “Ask Monica” segments! or email them to [email protected])  

With Aloha,
Monica

PS  HURRICANE UPDATE:  As I am finally about to publish this from Southern California (where things are going super well, btw!) Hurricane Lane is apparently headed towards Hawaii…where three of my sons are without parents (hahaha, crazy right!?)  Rest assured: we have friends staying with them (even real live adults) and tons of support, and bottled water, and emergency systems in place (not exactly, but that sounds good.)  I think they’ll be ok.  Truthfully, my boys LOVE a good storm, and I feel confident they’ll be ok.  But we do appreciate prayers for our boys and anyone who may be affected by the storm.  (Thank you to those of you who have reached out with concern.)

Aloha, Monica