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  1. Mwebe Henry says:

    I’m 17 and this thinking about the future has been traumatizing me just like your son but reading your story has really calmed me
    Drafting a plan is an ace I can’t wait to take
    Thanks so very much
    Henry Mwebe

  2. To add on to your advice at #3 – “What problems would you like to solve?” is great but I like to talk about thoughts. Thoughts are more valuable than money, as the saying goes around my house, so how are you going to spend yours? And we often ask our boys WHERE they are going to spend their thoughts when they grow up. It does not just have to be about solving problems, but about applying brain power. One of my boys takes our question very literally (to be fair he’s autistic) so he answers with things like the library, his house, or various state capitals (because he wants to visit all of them). My other son comes up with some of the most amazing answers to how he’s going to spend his adult thoughts! His kids are going to be very lucky! 🙂

    Love the post Monica! This whole series is a fantastic idea!

    1. Thank you Becka! I LOVE all of that so much. Really awesome. I’d love to be a fly on your wall for those conversations! So fun. 🙂 Bless you and thank you for taking the time to comment. Aloha-

  3. My 9 year old Shaun has been wanting to be a zoologist as far back as I can remember. He loves animals, especially the wild and exotic. Recently he has narrowed down where he would like to specialize in reptiles (herpetology). He reads books and watches nature programming constantly (plus goes out in the woods to discover creatures). It’s a true passion and animals do respond to him. We have gotten a zoo membership and in all our travels try to visit as many zoos as possible, along with other nature conservatories and centers. He has spoken with zoologists at these places and has an idea of what to study and how to become what he wants. It amazes me how he has just always seemed to KNOW and the passion just grows and continues Tom burn inside him.

  4. My 17 year old son is talking to me about this, but since I homeschool him I told him that he will good at internships-he was ok with that. There is too much pressure for no reason pushing our young adults into something that’s not needed, like there is no reason for a 4 year college…the reason why the schools say this is simple-the longer our kids stay in school, the more money the schools get. It really just depends on what they want. It does take time for them to figure it out, with our help.

    1. Great advice Bonita! Unless his goals require a four-year college, then you are probably saving him both a lot of money and a ton of (unnecessary) hard work with your advice.Hopefully he’ll find a passion to pursue and I’m sure you’ll help guide him there. Keep me posted and keep up the great work. 🙂 Aloha!

  5. Wow, Monica–I am always so impressed by how mature, pleasant, and confident your sons are! And you have such strong, close, fun relationships with each one it seems! This is another wonderful video, thank you. It’s amazing and inspiring to see someone as young as Luke talking about his future in such a realistic way. Bravo and mahalo!

    1. Oh thank you Wendy…Dave almost suggested we re-do it because Luke was so relaxed he wasn’t communicating as well as we know he can, but I figured I might as well share it “as is” 🙂 — We’re not trying to impress anyone but just share a real-life conversation. SO, thank you for those words–I am so glad he came across all of the things you said (even if you’re partly just being nice, haha.) Bless you–Tommy is on his way as well!!

  6. My 9th grade son is driving me crazy right now on this very topic! He talks about college all the time but his focus is only on what jobs pay the most money! He is not really focusing on where his abilities lie. He keeps talking about being a doctor (no offense) but he’s not a great student & doesn’t like to work hard. I try not to discourage him too much but I just think his goals are unrealistic. I struggle just figuring out what his actual abilities are. I’m hoping with maturity, he will be able to start to be able to turn his focus around and try to seek out God’s plan for his life! I know some parents tell their kids they can be anything they want to be but unfortunately I’m more of a “realist”! Sigh:(

    1. Jane–I don’t think your son is too unusual. 🙂 They go through stages and it is just great that you keep talking through things as he goes…helps to keep him level-headed I am sure. Yes, with maturity many things come and I am sure you’ll keep guiding his vision to the Lord. Keep up the great work! aloha-

  7. Great advice, Monica! I have a very stressed 7th grader and 4th grader about standarized testing. They wake up not wanting to go to school: breaks my heart. The oldest one can’t sleep at night, while the other has developed the ugly habit of nail biting. We constantly tell them to not worry, and just do their best: it’s just a test. They are both straight A’s students, and have done amazing on those tests every year, but again, every year they were nervous.
    We try to take it easy at home during this testing season, and show them that as long as they do their best, work hard, and follow the Lord they will be just fine.
    I’m an optimist just like you! That is why I enjoy your writing so much!
    Blessings! 🤗

    1. Thank you for sharing, Nidia. Oh that’s rough. You’ve got some serious students on your hands…:) Sounds like you’re handling it great though, so keep it up. Always love hearing from you! aloha-

  8. Great article. The talking points are very clear and direct the conversation down the right path. I love section 4 Helping your kids connect the dots. This is what is missing from most discussions. Extremely helpful! I hope the best for your son. It is good he cares, the future can be stressful.

    Thank you,

    1. Thank you Maria–I appreciate the comment. (And yes, I should have mentioned so just went back and added a PS– my son is doing really good. Doesn’t have it all figured out yet, but feels like he’s on the right track now I think! :)) Blessings to you.