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  1. I loved this post and have been looking and praying for just this thing… intentional significant conversations to have with my tween boy. I had a few conversations in mind already but this was so helpful and a big motivation to get started! So, I had the first conversation today about identity and image on the drive into school. Coming from one “extreme” introvert directed at another “extreme” introvert, (my son), it was awkward at first but so worth it. Because if I don’t have these conversations with him, who will? Where will he get this information if not from me and my husband? A sobering thought! So glad I went ahead and just did it, awkwardness and all. He didn’t say a word, (because introverts process before they talk) but I know (hope) he’s thinking about it. 🙂 I’m looking forward to your next topic. Thanks for all the thought and heart you put into your posts.

    1. Laurie–Your comment truly makes my day. SO well done!!! I’m very proud of you–especially under the circumstances (double introvert situation :)) I really encourage you to follow up on this same topic…over time, yes, but also in the more near future. Perhaps ask him if that little chat made sense to him, and if it is something he had any thoughts on. Just keeping it kind of “in the air” makes it more comfortable than bringing up all over again later on. Yes, more conversations coming in the next weeks for sure. 🙂 Bless you!

  2. I love this topic! I wish I had known this when I was 15, but unfortunately I turned to eating disorders to try to find my identity. The fear that my younger sisters would follow in my footsteps was a huge catalyst for me to get better, and now I am fascinated with the topic of identity.

    I appreciate that you say “image matters.” Many people want to say that we shouldn’t care about image, because it’s only about what’s in the heart, etc. While “judging a book” solely by it’s cover is not good, it’s important also acknowledge, especially in our age of Instagram and social media, that image matters. Hopefully a person’s image will be supported by a a healthy identity grounded in Christ!

    This is powerful, and I want every young person (and every person at every age!) to know their identity. About a month ago I wrote some articles on ways we can have healthy identity based on what I have learned and from classes I took with a Christian ministry. I’m so glad more people are talking about this.

    Thank you for your powerful words of truth!

    ~ Rachel H.

    1. Thank you Rachel! Love your words and totally agree. Sorry for what you’ve been through but it sounds to me like you’ve learned and grown through it all, and are now a blessing to others–awesome! I stopped by your site as well and it is lovely. Well done!! You must be a busy young lady! Keep up the great work and thank you for taking the time to comment. Much aloha to you–

  3. I really love the topics you post on…this one is great. I just don’t know where to start with these conversations without being awkward or forced. I have 15, 13 and 12 yo boys. We have good relationships, but not on super deep levels until something goes wrong! Any ideas?

    1. Thank you for commenting, and that is a great question! I always think the best approach is to be really honest and humble as we open up deeper conversations with our kids. Just telling them straight out, “Hey, I’d really love to have some honest conversations about things, and there are things we’ve never talked about before that I’d like to be able to talk about.” Our kids are usually not only open to that, but relieved/excited that their parents want to talk. Yes they might show some attitude at first, but I am convinced that deep down almost always they will be happy to know that you want to talk! I encourage you to just invite them on a walk, or to sit down over a snack/meal and go for it. It may be awkward at first but not for long. 🙂 I am hoping to share some YouTube videos with my sons helping me talk about some of these topics, so inviting your sons to watch with you might be a great way to open up the conversation! (You will see the Youtube icon/link on my right side bar near the top–click there to subscribe and soon you’ll get an email with the first youtube in the series.) Much aloha and let me know how your conversations go! 🙂

  4. Stephanie says:

    This is great. I love this topic.

  5. Super great post! Including the dictionary definitions with your emphases really helpful.

    1. thank you Amy! So glad to hear…much love to you —

  6. Love this post so much, going to apply it with my family. Shared the post with friends! Thank you

    1. Oh thank you so much. I’m so glad. Let me know how it goes! ;). Aloha-