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46 Comments

  1. We have struggled with social media. It’s a challenge for sure!

  2. Radhisha Peiris says:

    This article really helped me. Thank you for taking time to put your thoughts down in writing. I also like to hear about what you have to say about bullying. I know your kids are home schooled, but would you have experience or some thoughts on it. My boys are 16 and 14.

    1. Thank you Radhisha! So glad you enjoyed it and my pleasure writing it. πŸ˜‰ I have been pondering a post on bullying so hopefully can get to that in the New Year. I’m so sorry if it is something you have faced in your family, and I know it is a big problem (especially the on-line part in more recent years…) God bless you and hang in there! aloha

  3. Feanna otta says:

    Having 2 tweens, this would be a great read for both myself and my daughter. Id love to win a copy. Thanks for writing and sharing about Topics that matter so much to many of us Mothers.

  4. I struggle with a lot of the emotions & issues you mentioned when it comes to my own social media usage! I think one thing I can really do to help my children is to model healthy screen time habits & relationships away from the computer!

    1. Such a good point, Amber. And you’re so right–this isn’t just for the kids…We all need to keep our heads. πŸ˜‰ Thanks for commenting! XO

  5. Hopefully this is not too late for the drawing πŸ™‚ I have felt challenged to expect more of myself than I do of my kids. This is part of the reason I have taken a break from FB (such a hard decision because of the positives) for 10 month now and feel SO much lighter for it. I struggled with pride (thinking about what others would think of my posts/who would like it, etc.) and sometimes feelings of dissatisfaction with my life or feelings of inferiority when reading others’ posts. Also, it was sometimes “relationship candy” – quick connection on my terms which sucked too much time from my “real” relationships. Lastly, it was one more commitment to keep up with. I need this book just as much as my kids- LOL. Kids sometimes do what we say, but more often than not, they just do what we do πŸ˜‰

    1. You are so right, Karen. (and obviously so wise!) Thank you for sharing. I often use the excuse that because I’m a blogger I “have to be” on social media, but I could certainly set some boundaries for my personal use as well. Thanks for the inspiration. Much aloha to you–

  6. Erin Gallagher says:

    I dont know if I’m too late for the drawing but hope not! Regardless I will share how difficult it is to navigate social media with kiddos. My newly 14 year old hasn’t expressed much interest in social media unless he can do it on a smart phone which we have not yet felt he has earned our trust enough to have. It’s so hard knowing he is missing out on making connections with his peers in a way most of them do now.. via social media. I feel better though reminding myself although in today’s day and age there can be true value behind social media, it’s ultimately still shallow and only face value. The real relationships I want my children to value are the face to face ones. As always thanks for a wonderful post and I’m excited to start following Kari especially since I have an eight year old daughter who I have a feeling will be much more interested in social media in the coming years than my son ever will be!

    1. Erin–No, you’re not too late and I love hearing from you! Thank you for sharing! I think you’re doing the right thing, and it’s so hard when our kids make us feel like they’re the “only ones in the world” without a phone. Haha. Since this is new territory, we have no idea how these young people with so much access to phones (and social media) will do later, so I think you are wise…I know you’ll love all that Kari shares too. Much aloha–

  7. I personally am on FB and I like using it to keep up with friends and family. My daughter (age 14) only has snapchat and sometimes has trouble limiting her usage of it. She also uses her phone to contact classmates about school assignments. We all work together on the dining room table after dinner, so we “track” her phone usage that way. Screen usage (phone, ipad, laptop) is a concern in our household. It’s a tough battle.

  8. Jacqueline says:

    Great article! I would love this book for my boys (almost 9 & 11) who will soon enter the world of social media. It seems smart to prep them before they go there. I also would like to add that most people whom I admire for their humble yet confident personality in real life also have the same ‘online personality’. I hope to show my boys examples of fun friends’ and cousins’ online persona to give them a guide!
    Thanks!

    1. Jacqueline–I love how you think. Using great examples is such a smart idea. Sounds like you are preparing well and I’m sure you’ll get through the next season positively! Much aloha-

  9. Thank you for the post!

  10. Thank you for sharing about this book Monica! I would love to share this with other friends of mine with teens.

  11. Interestingly, these principles never stop being applicable! Adults can get sucked in, too. Thanks for the reminders! Was delighted to share w/ my 2 teenage daughters. We talk about these things, but it’s good to read it from someone else besides mom!

  12. What a timely blog for my family! We are vacationing in Hawaii and my 13 year old daughter is miserable and wishing she was at home. I can’t help but think that if we could disconnect her from social media, that she would be free to enjoy her holiday. I’ll definitely be reading your friend’s blog to look for more pointers on how to deal with her. Mahalo

    1. So sorry Janet, but so glad that the timing of this post was good for you! I will pray that things get better quickly so your daughter (and all of you!) can enjoy a special time together…Much aloha–

  13. This is such a perfect post for me to read today as I am struggling with this exact thing with my kids.

    1. I am so glad the timing is good for you with this, Pam. It’s a tough one, for sure!! Much aloha and keep pressing on! πŸ™‚

  14. Nicole Burner says:

    Please oh please enter my name for the LIKED book. Your synopsis of it speaks to me during this difficult tween/teen stage.

    Thanks for all your wise words and stories. They’ve been enlightening, comforting, and helpful.

    -Nicole

    1. Thank you Nicole! You have been entered and I do hope you get the chance to read the book. All the best to you in this season! aloha-

  15. Melissa Carpenter says:

    Great Post! I have a love /hate relationship with Social Media and my two teenage girls use of it. I love it when they post sweet pictures and positive encouraging words. I dislike the pressure they feel to be “liked” on social media. We talk often about being kind to everyone and showing grace when hurtful things are posted on social media. I agree that I don’t think I would have done well with social media as a teenager (so glad we didn’t have to deal with that in the 1980’s) ! I plan to but the book liked for myself and my girls unless I win it : ) it sounds great! Melissa

  16. I am raising a mini me and, knowing how I struggled with fitting in (or not) and playing the comparison game (and in my mind always losing), the idea of my sweet girl facing all of that and throwing in social media leaves me feeling paralyzed! I still have a couple years left to figure out exactly what our plan is, but this book could help us figure out how to survive the social media world, or if we should even enter it in the next couple of years! Please enter me to win!!!

    1. Hi Monica & Cindi! Great topic of conversation that is so relevant to today. Im a Mom to 2 teens, 19 daughter(college) & 18 son(Sr in hs.). After all Ive learned & gone thru in past 5 years, I would never allow my children smart phones & unmonitored computer time. I was naive(as most parents are) as to what they could see, (& some of it accidentally), what they could find, & be bullied by . Our family has been ripped apart by the terrible images, bullying & addictiveness that these devices can bring into families lives. I may talk more later of my story but Please, as parents you have the right to monitor,check what your kids are looking at & take away the devices for a period of time or altogether. Our children are only kids once & for such a short time. Guard their hearts,souls & minds. God will protect our children if we pray & ask His help. But we must do our part to say No, and use good judgement. When teens become older, its still very important to be the Parent & monitor. When they turn 18,19…. They are adults & can do as they please. (where my kids are now) I still encourage & give good advise, but it is now their choice. And they are great kids, but its been thru lots of pain & heartache, we’ve learned so much. As yougers kids & teens, find lots of activities to do with & for them. Keep them busy reading, crafting, sports, homework, visiting friends& relatives, working, playing outside, cleaning,etc. Then they will not have as much time on social media & not be able to get caught up in the Snares of the negative. All of us over 35ish survived without it & our kids can too. Thank you for trying to instill the good into kids!!

      1. Thank you Joy. Such good advice and clearly come from some rich (even if painful) experience. Bless you. I am taking notes for sure!! Much aloha–

    2. I think you’re right on track just looking ahead and thinking through it all Cindi. Over the next years I am sure things will just keep changing, so keep your finger on the pulse of the culture and use your good judgement (and your memories of being a teenager ;)) to choose wisely. Bless you!

  17. Michelle Hoppe says:

    I see pros and cons to social media….. it is a concern of mine for my growing children.

  18. Christine says:

    Great Article… forwarding the article and book to my mom friends because we all need extra advice here and Jesus πŸ™‚ Definitely need Jesus.

  19. Thanks so much for this interesting post, and the opportunity you provide with it. I would Love a copy for my 17 year old daughter whom has just finished school. Unfortunately my folks bought her an iphone a few years ago. Little did I know the effect it would have on her. My other two younger children do not even want an iphone, of which I am so relieved. I have brought up my 3 children in a Christian environment all their lives, and we do attend church. They go to a Summer camp at the end of each year, where they are taught Christian principles with other young people in our Church. Although she has not ‘steppedout’ into the bigger world out there, literally, the effects of our modern age do have impact, as we know. I would love to have this opportunity to pass this booklet onto my growing daughter. Thank you.

  20. Keri Meier says:

    I would ABSOLUTELY LOVE a copy of Kari’s book! With 7 kiddos, our son is 16, and 6 girls ranging from 6 to 14, we need ALL of the Godly wisdom we can soak up to navigate these crazy times we are in today. If you would consider me, that’d be AWESOME!!! Thanks-Keri Meier πŸ™‚

  21. If I don’t win, I’m surely buying anyway! However, the announce date, 12/04 is one of the most precious celebratory days in the whole wide world to me ~

  22. All he feels. I’ve experienced the highs and lows of social media. Currently, I’m not “online” much…but recognized that my children are in a different world than mine was at their age. So, send me your extra copy of LIKED! And I will share it wih all my friends!!! Thanks!

  23. My daughter is 13 and this sounds like a well timed read.

  24. Great article Monica! My daughter is 30 and thankfully didn’t grow up with the same social media as today. Actually I’m so thankful for not having grown up myself in this period. I am keeping this for future grandchildren. I would love to win this book. Social media can really been a land mine field for a lot of people. There is so much bullying taking place these days right out in the open on social media for all to see. I myself have been hurt by things I’ve seen and have taken breaks from social media.
    Thank you for writing about this. Blessings to you and your family.

  25. This sounds like a great book! I purchased GOOD PICTURES BAD PICTURES, which you recommended in another article & have been glad for that book dealing with such a scary topic involved with social media. Thank You So Much for dealing with the huge topic of social media again! I’d love to win this book. Mahalo Grom Mom. With Aloha, Kahaluu Mom Sarah from WA! β€οΈπŸŒΊπŸŽ„πŸ’•πŸ˜˜

  26. As the mom of two teenage boys (13 and 15), managing computer use and social media time is something we are struggling with daily. Like you, we have one who is for the most part trust worthy and mature in his use of social media, but we also have one who is impulsive and social and very into what others think – and VERY computer savvy! To him, being “connected” is a part of life; to us, it’s downright scary – and yet, we’ve found it unrealistic to limit his use of social media entirely; too many activities rely on it now for communication. I appreciate posts like this and the comments other readers make – it’s nice to know we’re not alone – and to get some ideas for how to lead our children through this “new” world, especially since this isn’t a battle that we’ll have made it safely (hopefully) through in a year or two or even three – we have two more coming up (boy, 5 & girl, 18 months)! We’re in it for the long haul.

  27. These are excellent points. We have a rule to monitor til 18yrs. Now even with my 22 yr old we are followers. We found that kids are rather tech savvy and know the apps and devices to hid their digital footsteps. We have had to intervene as late as 17 yrs with one of our kids. Since my husband and I are both engineers and use social media for a fe of our businesses we tend to see more that most parents miss. Sharing tips like this is very helpful as the global world is constantly changing.

  28. If I could be real for a minute, it’s challenging when theres a parent in the home, who thinks it’s a wonderful idea to unplug during family time, but the novelty has worn off and you quickly return to same habits, phone in hand. So you gently remind, but don’t see much effort, so you pray.

  29. Would Love to have the book, Liked. Thanks!

  30. Donna Norman says:

    Thank you! What a great post full of wisdom. Parenting teens in today’s era of media is definitely hard. We put limits on media until they show maturity and wisdom as well. I also no longer need to monitor my oldest and thankfully my middle dd has no desire for it yet. Her nose is always in a book. I have three teens girls, one of which, Haley, is a follower on your FB page. At 17, she is wise beyond her years spiritually, and has also taken many breaks from media of all kinds. She is currently a freshman at TKU studying cross cultural missions and being in college young, I am so thankful for amazing bloggers including you, who give wisdom to kids who want to live counter cultural in today’s world. My 15 yr old is following in a similar path. They also enjoy following the FB pages/blogs for The fulltime Girl, Girl Defined, Physician Masonheimer blog, and Do Hard Things. I think teaching them to filter all decisions and choices thru Jesus as well as showing them living examples of those who did not has helped my girls see the difference. Exposure from middle school on has shown them what can happen if you allow media and opinions to dictate your choices. They’ve watched many family and friends fall victim to fleshly desires and have learned to show grace and love while at the same time, learning that they never want to go down that path. The blogs they follow have helped encourage them in the values they have set for themselves as they get older. Haley has decided she won’t date until she is ready to marry and she is saving her first kiss for the altar. Right now she is simply focusing on school and mission trips. Thank you for your wisdom! I am also thankful we didn’t deal with this in the 80’s. I would have been a mess!

    1. wow, what an incredible family you are raising. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing. And tell your daughter I am honored that she follows on Facebook! πŸ™‚ Much aloha-

  31. I “like” social media. I think there are times, as an adult, we get a bit addicted to it. The part I love (the positive side) is keeping up with people that I don’t see often (or haven’t seen in years). I love seeing pics of their families, etc. Our kids are not old enough for social media yet (11 – girl, 9 – boy) – although my 11 yo recently asked to get musicl.ly – but we told her “no” ( I had just read several articles that didn’t shine a good light on the app).

    Thank you for your post. It was very helpful!!

  32. Thank you. I am a single mom of an awesome 15 year old son. I gave a smart phone way too early and it was disastrous. Took it away and replaced with a flip phone 2 years now. Lots of conversation about open policy. I need this to transition him to having those privileges again. God bless.

  33. As a mom to two littles (years away from social media) and a wife to a student pastor, I love the discussion here and can’t wait to read more.