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  1. I appreciate this guidance you offer as I am a single grandmother trying to raise a teenager by myself. Jacob is 13 and is sweet and has believed in Christ but sometimes I think he is being too influenced by the world thinking. My husband and I adopted him when he was 7 but have had him since the day he was born. Then when he was around 10, my husband divorced me and we had been married for 43 years. I appreciate your biblical guidance viewpoint in your posts. Thank you so much because there are so many spiritual battles going on at this time.

    1. Oh bless your heart Barbara. What a wonderful thing you’ve done bringing your grandson in, and even though you’ve gone through a lot yourself, you are still working to provide him with what he needs. He is so blessed! Thank you for your kind words. Much Aloha and you just keep doing your best, let God take care of the rest.

  2. Excellent advice. I let disrespect creep in in a BIG way somehow & now I am fighting it HARD with consequences/expectations/justification. My 16yr old has become the master @ manipulation & justification & I know I am partially responsible, but still learning in what ways. I say all that to say this:
    It is so hard to “fix” this. Absolutely be vigilant about requiring especially respectful talk from your kids @ an early age. Don’t let anything by without at least a discussion. I’ve actually had friends point out a disrespectful statement or behavior that I didn’t get until I saw it from their point of view! It’s like, “yeah-that WAS a very disrespectful thing to say-why didn’t I catch that at the time?”
    We are making slow progress, but it is progress & I have explained to my son that it’s become a habit & that those can be hard to break. And I have gotten better @ remaining firm. We are both learning….did I mention it is HARD? 😜

    1. Terri, thank you for commenting. I totally get that, and you are not alone. It happens, and you are just so wise to be working on it all now. Funny how easily we let someone be disrespectful to us, when we’d never treat someone else that way. Just part of motherhood I suppose, but nope-you don’t deserve it! 🙂 Way to go, and keep it up! aloha-

      1. Thank you for your reply.
        Because I have faith in the Lord-not so much myself-I know that one day my son will see the reality of what I’m trying so hard to do. To help him, prepare him & protect him.
        Your writings are so helpful to me. & I fwd to him often in hopes that one day he will read.
        Oh! & my mom lived in Hawaii when she was younger. It is a dream of mine to get her back there one day. She’s told me a lifetime of stories & about how beautiful it all is. When we make it-God willing-I’d love for you to meet her!
        Thank you for following through with your calling-I don’t know how you do it all!

  3. Madhavi kunar says:

    Loved it Monica! Just so appropriate n resonates with my own principles.

    Except in my case I am afraid none of the above tactics worked or are working. My daughter who just turned 16 was hooked on to social media two years ago. Then after a long n frank talk was told that there will be limits which was met by defiance rebellion n we felt some sort of depression. A result of addiction to the net. ( she was into social sites n Utubers). By the time we discovered about it, she was already into it unfortunately since I was mostly in hospitals with my sick mother in law.

    Since then n till this day it is a battle. Things are much better but even now putting any limits on her phone or net time she responds with snide remarks n can be scathingly rude. Withdrawing privileges or other consewuenses have made no diffetence. She suffers them n rmaintains we are cruel mean n downeight weird in wanting to do this. Mind you her academic scores are doing fine n she is an intelligent n mature girl n knows we love her. Just blames us for all the weongs in her life.

    Rude behaviour is something that crushes me the most. And what do we do …show her the door? Even started a fine that was deducted from her pocket money for every bad word she used. Did not work. She feels she is the wronged one. Let me tell you I am told by everyone how patient I am with my kids. I nag sometimes though. but am very aware about it.

    What can you offer about this?

    Thanks for writing such heartwarming articles. Bless you!!

    New delhi

  4. Love the part about, ‘it’s only awkward if you make it awkward.’

  5. Extremely helpful! Tell your guys I will be ready to adjust my grocery list for growth sports and will try to let my guys “take the lead” when it comes time to talk… or not.
    Thanks, as always.