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31 Comments

  1. Hi Monica,

    I am your diehard follower for almost 6 years now.. I have written to you many a times & was thrilled everytime I hear back from you :). I am a mother of 2 wonderful boys, each one unique & special in their own perfect way.
    I so much enjoyed listening to your podcast about first born & they are bang on I would say. As a first born myself I can relate to almost everything you mentioned!!
    My first born Kiran strives to be a pleaser all the time, he always pushes himself so hard so he is right !! Always sets a good example to his little brother.. ofcourse also takes advantage of being a older brother ( just like the car ride Josiah was mentioning :))).
    I can’t wait to hear your other podcast about birth order !!
    Love you loads, Monica
    You are an inspiration to all!
    Happy New year !!!

    1. Thank you so much, Hema. It is great to hear from you and you are such an encouragement! Blessings to you – hope you enjoy the rest of the series! xo

  2. Jennifer Marks says:

    I am the second born, but listening to your podcast has been very helpful to understand and help my firstborn. James is almost 8 and is very responsible and cares deeply about pleasing my husband and me. He is quite bossy, but also very caring of hia younger two brothers. I am looking forward to having him listen to the end of this podcast!

    1. I see so many of those characteristics in my first born and myself (I’m also a firstborn). He will run to my side every time I need help. Even though he is only 5 yrs old he will helps him s younger brothers with just about anything and always looks for the approval of others, which is hard because I remember feeling that same way growing up and it can be such a huge burden!

  3. Our seven year old firstborn is definitely a traditional firstborn: high standards, responsible, control, and pride being key characteristics. I love how I can ask him to do something and it gets done! Being his mom and also a firstborn, I see the control and pride in me as well and hope to help him refine them in the Lord to glorify Him much sooner than I have. I struggle with things being out of control or in chaos. I don’t see that in him as much; I’m not sure you can see the floor in his room currently!

  4. Elena Ward says:

    My oh my, I didn’t know I could get specific advice to guide and parent my son based on his birth order…I had such a convicted heart after listening just part way through this podcast. Thank you!

  5. I am a first born and I fit all the characteristics discussed on the show! My husband is a second born/the youngest of he and his brother and doesn’t embody any of the traits discussed. We are due with our first child – a boy – in July 💙 Do oldest children still fit these characteristics if they are an only child?

  6. Wendy Mengel says:

    My firstborn son is 3 and fits these characteristics already! It’s wild to see that at such a young age. His little brother will be born in April and this podcast was such a good reminder to me to proactively not put too much on our firstborn, even as the baby comes. I love seeing his natural thoughtfulness, caution, tidiness, etc but I hope and pray he feels safe to just be himself and “make a mess of things” as he grows up like Josiah said. My husband and I are both middle children so I’m excited to listen to that next podcast and see how our birth order affects our family!

  7. My first born is a boy and your reading of the blog post description really resonated with me. You almost described him perfectly. He is cautious, a people pleaser, a leader, and perfectionist. I’m also a first born and it is interesting to see our similarities, and also how we both want to control the situation. Looking forward to hearing the youngest birth order podcast.

  8. I am a boy momma to 3 guys {8.5, 5 next week, and 10 months}. This podcast was incredibly helpful {and a little convicting :)} as I tend to put a lot of responsibility and pressure on my firstborn. He is incredibly tender hearted, thoughtful kind and unbelievably responsible. My husband travels for work and he takes the role as “man of the house” so seriously, helping me with anything and everything. I loved this podcast because it is a much needed reminder for me to not put so much pressure on him and expect so much help when he is a little boy. I pray that God will give me the wisdom on how to treat him like the little boy he will only be for a short time while also continuing to instill the qualities of how to become a man someday as well, just maybe a little less right now! Thank you for another great parenting challenge!

  9. Crystal Morgan says:

    My firstborn is determined, strong-willed, and a rule follower. I am also a first born, and we have very similar personalities. I loved listening to this episode, and realize there are some things I need to do better with! I will definitely be working on the 5 things! As first-borns he and I both struggle with the perfectionist tendencies. I really want to read the birth order book now after hearing this podcast!

  10. Corrie Shroyer says:

    My firstborn is 5. He fits half of your firstborn characteristics, haha! He is definitely the perfectionist, and intelligent. However he is not the most calm – he is one active little guy, and his younger brother is the chill child.

    I literally laughed out loud at some of the “firstborn” characteristics, because several I see in myself.
    I am not the “firstborn” BUT my older sister is handicapped and I feel like I took over the older sister role and many of those characteristics are me to a T!

    Thanks for always having such great topics, I really enjoy your podcasts!

  11. This definitely describes my firstborn. He is an extremely cautious five year old and can never get his fill of time alone with mom and dad.

  12. Melissa Cain says:

    I’m a firstborn mom of 3 boys. I see the similarities of a firstborn in myself and my oldest. So interesting! I will take your 5 tips to heart!

  13. Interestingly, I thought my first-born would be “typical” when I started listening to this podcast, but thinking through it, I’m not sure he fits the mold as much. He is very sweet and conscientious of others feelings and moods, but he’s completely distracted all the time, not as big of a helper as his younger brother and definitely not neat or orderly! I would say his younger brother will most likely be the one keeping the room clean as they get older 🙂 I think he aligns more with first-born tendencies when it comes to studying though. He loves facts and doing well in school. It’s all very interesting either way.

  14. My first born is a joy and a big helper. He has a fun personality and there is never a dull moment with his interesting questions. I am also a first born and at times we but heads.

  15. Laura Jean says:

    My firstborn fits the definition well. She is the daughter to 2 firstborn parents as well!

  16. My firstborn is almost 8 and the eldest of three boys. He definitely has leadership qualities and perfectionist tendencies but he is not cautious – he is adventurous, curious, and energetic. He is also not a peacemaker – doesn’t follow rules all the time and engages in battles with his brothers often. I’m hopefully this will change as he gets older 😊

  17. My firstborn (one of three boys) is a leader and gatherer/knower of people. He’s only 4 and yet I can already see him charging forward with ideas, plans and the people he wants to take with him. His energy and excitement can come across as intense for a lot of other kids. I haven’t read The Birth Order book yet, but I’m so curious to!

  18. This describes my husband pretty perfectly as a firstborn! My firstborn son is only 18 months old, but he is definitely particular about where things go and cautious about new things especially. It’ll be interesting to see how his personality develops as a firstborn son as he grows! Thank you for the insights!

  19. Christina H says:

    Birth order is so interesting and I love the idea of being student to our children. Thank you for your podcast and your heart for sharing Jesus here!

  20. My first born is controlling in some regards and loves being a helper. To our surprise, he’s become more flexible with age (only 5 though), isn’t super cautious and is willing to try new things which doesn’t seem to line up with typical first borns.

  21. Kris Jones says:

    You are both an inspiration and give us hope for the future!

  22. Andrea Kinney says:

    So excited for this episode as we just welcomed our second son into the family on Jan 11. Looking forward to watching my first born son find his rhythm.

  23. My firstborn is extremely cautious especially with his personal well-being haha, he reads all board game rules and has an extremely hard time being flexible when friends come over and try to play by their “house rules”

    I’m excited to learn more about birth order, it’s not something I’ve ever researched

  24. Boy mom of two here, they are 21 and 17.
    I loved this episode! I am a first born and my first born son and I are so much alike. We are definitely both perfectionist and we both have a very independent soul, almost a bit controlling. This episode helped me to understand why my husband, a second born, and my second born son have so many similarities as well. Thank you for shedding some light for me. Even though I now have young adults. It is enlightening! Looking forward to the next episode.

  25. Really enjoyed this episode and hearing from Josiah about being the oldest. My oldest of three sons definitely has leadership qualities and perfectionist tendencies BUT he is not a peacemaker (yet) and is not cautious either, so that’s an interesting combo in our house!

  26. I loved this so much! I am a first born and this describes me perfectly AND my first born son. I always say he has my personality whereas my second has my husband’s (who is a second born!). So interesting!

  27. Erin Greiner says:

    My firstborn has some tendencies of being a first born but also has a lot of youngest tendencies too! He’s a leader and a free spirit. It’s a wonderful combination.

  28. Christina says:

    My first born is a sweetheart. Always trying to please, be helpful, and keep the peace.

  29. My firstborn (of three) is only 4 years old, but he is as cautious as they come. He follows the rules to a T! I’ve never heard anything about birth order or their descriptions, so I’m curious to learn if each of my boys are typical for their birth order!