A Goodbye Letter to the Simple Years

Dear Simple Years,

Yes, you… The years of having kids mostly home, most of the time. Whether they went to school or not, our house was, well– homebase. We were all home and together, a lot. Especially, at dinnertime.

Before I continue, I know what you’re thinking: How funny that I would write you an emotional goodbye when I so often wished you…away. I didn’t always appreciate you, you’re right.

And I’m sorry. Truly, please forgive me.

The days with you were indeed long and I can’t say I enjoyed every one of them. It seemed kids were always under my feet, and the messes unending. Sibling squabbles nearly broke me. And preparing and serving dinner every night often felt like a chore. I used to joke that we were living Groundhog Day…every day.

By the time, dad got home from work each night I had the instinct to toss him all of the kids and run out the door. (And sometimes I did.)

There’s no doubt I have always been crazy about my kids, but I think it is fair to say I resented you, Simple Years. It just seemed like you’d always be there.

And now that I look back, I have new perspective. I see that you were so faithful; In fact, you provided some of the very best times of my life. Perhaps most importantly, because of you, I learned to run to God. I grew to depend on Him for everything in that season.

But now. Without a bit of warning, you’re gone. I don’t even know how to say it, and tears flow as I do. It wasn’t like there was a proper lead up to our parting. No pomp and circumstance. I wasn’t asked to sign papers or officially close the chapter. No graduation or recognition. We were just going along settled into the rhythm of normalcy, having all my kids at home and in a comfortable routine…when out of nowhere: everything changed.

It started with sports: Baseball and soccer. Then other activities joined forces: music lessons, then youth group. It’s like they all got together and staged a coup.

I remember that first simple email from a coach, announcing that one of my children had to be at practice at 6 o’clock.

6 o’clock? That’s dinner time, I silently protested. But I dared not speak up. From what I gathered everyone else received this as normal procedure. I tried to be a good sport and pack the family simple meals to take to the baseball field. At least my littles were still with me and it felt somewhat familiar.

But soon another activity popped up, then another, often at the very same time. Suddenly our kids were scattered, rides required coordination, and I—once the mom who rarely let her kids out of sight—was sending them off with families I barely knew. Who was I becoming?

But the kids were excited, and they loved their activities. And I knew, deep down, that they were healthy and happy. Living their best childhood lives.

“It’s just a season,” I told myself.

But weeks went by before the truth hit me: this isn’t just a season. This is my new life.

These days, we’re lucky to all sit around the table a few times a week. My minivan has turned into a snack station, changing room, and homework hub. My husband and I catch up via text more than face to face. We swap stories of little league and homework battles in the dark of our bedroom before falling asleep at night.

When I learned about “ambiguous loss,” I finally had a name for what I was feeling; Our kids are here, but they’re not. We’re still a family, but not the same as before. I miss them. I miss us. And yes, I miss you, Simple Years.

Recently I ran into an older mom whose words offered some perspective: “You’ll always remember the Simple Years…But be warned: The Busy Years come and go even faster.”

Wait, what!? How had I not thought of that?

I stared at the woman, feeling a bit stunned. But not for long before she added:

“Then things get very quiet.”

That hit me hard.

And it made me think: I don’t want to repeat the mistake. I don’t want to wish away or take for granted another season.

So, I close this goodbye note with gratitude. Thank you, Simple Years, for memories and lessons to last a lifetime. And thank you, too, for the chance to realize that each new season will come and go, maybe more quickly than the last.

But now I must close. The Busy Years are here, and I have a friendship to build!

---

Forever grateful,
❤️ Monica

For those of you reading this, I would LOVE to hear from you in comments! Which season are you in? Are you in the Simple Years? The Busy Years? Or…(gulp) the Quiet Years?

Tell me where you are and how you’re doing! Sending big love!

Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” 

---

*If you are new here and enjoyed this post, I want to invite you to check out my BOOK PAGE where you’ll find Boy Mom, Raising Amazing, and Becoming Homeschoolers. Also, I’d be honored if you shared this post with your friend using the social media share buttons OR shooting them an email with the link to this post! xo