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17 Comments

  1. I love the example that you shared about driving your son around! That is exactly where I am. My kids are 14 (girl), 13 (girl), and 11 (boy), and they could keep me quite busy (and crabby) if I let them! Last summer, I was the “yes” mom to all things fun and friends. This fall, I was completely burnt out. Now I’m being way more careful with my “yeses”. I love that question, “is it reasonable”? I should not feel guilty if I need to read on the couch for 10 minutes, as opposed to driving you and your friend to a coffee shop, if it’s what I really need at that moment to fill myself up. I just bought your book after hearing you on the The Happy Hour podcast. I’m doing the Whole30 right now, but I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to say about health and fitness!

    1. Thank you Tiffany! Yes, it’s tough to juggle all of those feelings of wanting to be a great mom, knowing our limits, and so on. Sounds like you’re figuring it out though! πŸ™‚
      Definitely let me know what you think of the book after you read it. I’ve heard great things about the Whole30, great for focusing on nutrition and your body and nothing wrong with that! Aloha, XO

  2. This is such an excellent question to ask. It clears the fog out of the way and will help you make a decision that is well informed. Love this! Thank you.

  3. So good, Monica… will be keeping this in mind. Thanks.

  4. I was nodding my head while reading this article. Can help a friend but when it comes to my decision I draw a blank. πŸ˜‰ I have gone back and forth about moving jobs to a different school closer to home. This golden question helps. In ways it is reasonable….esp when I sat in traffic the last two mornings for 45 minutes. But I am also trying to decide if I should move levels. A hard call. Will definitely try your suggestions. Thank you!

  5. Oh! I needed this! I have trouble saying no especially to volunteering…I am in a woman’s club, church functions, PTA … And it just gets to be too much sometimes. If I’m too tired for my kickboxing class (my major stress reliever!) that’s no good. I recently had to say no to becoming Sunday School director at church because I didn’t see how to fit in. Still feeling a little guilt over it though to be honest but my poor husband sat me down and told me kindly and firmly that it was NOT a reasonable thing to do and he was right!

    1. good man you have! And I do love your heart…Those are all really good things to want to do! (and we all have plenty more time in other seasons to do more!) Aloha, and thank you for sharing that great example!

  6. We recently were faced with some decisions about a business I had a lot of time and money invested in. It had gotten to a place that my current rate of involvement wasn’t reasonable anymore. But because I had given so much blood, sweat and tears it was really hard to admit that it wasn’t working anymore. Funny thing is that God knew I needed to let it go without the promise of something better replacing and yet – right after I let it go he brought something very reasonable to replace it. =)

    1. yay!! What a great story, Krystal! Thank you so much for sharing that! πŸ™‚
      Much aloha, and congrats —

  7. I needed this so much today, thank you!

    1. Lora–Makes me so happy to hear that! πŸ™‚ Hope you have an amazing day!

  8. Tomoko Snyder says:

    (Came from BlogHer website) I have a pretty big decision to make now. I just quit my job after 3 and half years, totally burnt out. My in-laws said to take some time off and refresh. I feel guilty that I’m at home while my husband works. On the other hand, it seems ‘reasonable’ to take some time off, but what is ‘some’?

    1. Thank you for commenting Tomoko, and it sounds like you have some wise in-laws. πŸ˜‰ What is a reasonable amount of time to take off? Financially? For your own mental health–consider what you would tell a friend makes sense, given your situation! πŸ™‚ And also, of course, talk to your husband! (haha) Enjoy the time, and I’m glad you get this chance!! aloha-

  9. Good point to look at the WHOLE picture realistically, rather than going off of our emotions. Even the ‘little’ decisions, because there are so many of them, that their results are what determine what our daily life is like.
    Saying no to your kid is a great example that we can all relate to.

  10. Gosh, that is so good. I’m going to really work on asking that “Golden” question when a decision arises. Like my daughter is trying to find an apartment for next year and she sends me all the specs and costs of each one. Now I know what to say instead of just “no” I’ll say “that’s just not reasonable”. My question is this, what happens when they ask why?

    1. Thank you Kristen. And you’re right — kids and the “WHY” question! πŸ™‚ If she really wants to know, you could always show her on paper. Or you could simplify say that with your current financial situation…or in light of other responsibilities you have…etc etc…it just isn’t reasonable. She will get it even if she doesn’t want to. πŸ™‚ Aloha!!