5 Ways to Keep Your Life Balance in Check

We all want to live a balanced life, right?  

But how do we even know if we’re balanced?   Sometimes it’s hard to see the proverbial forest for our own little trees.

Today I am sharing five things I have found helpful in keeping my life-balance in check.
I hope a few of these are helpful to you, too!

{Click to catch up on: the intro and part one of this mini-series.}

1. Know your priorities.

We can’t do it all.  We know that.  But we can do a few things.  And I think we can all do a few things well.  I am learning to be intentional about the things I do, and to say no to a lot of other (even really good) things, too.

We all only have 24 hours in a day, and one thing I have learned:  if I don’t decide how to spend my time, it will be decided for me.

A question to ask yourself:  Do the things you most value match the way you spend your time?  It might help to jot a list of your priorities — from your job, to your family, to your hobbies.

Keep in mind:  There are very few things in your life that ONLY YOU can take care of:  Things like your family, your health, and your spiritual life.  If you think about it, most of the things we do every day could be done by someone else (if necessary).  So we should take special care of those few responsibilities that are ours and no one else’s.

But the reality is, sometimes our values don’t match how we spend our time.  We might find ourselves spending time doing things out of obligation (do you have trouble saying no?) or out of habit.  If that’s the case for you, it might be time to make some adjustments.

I know my own capacity is limited, so I try to keep my highest priority list as short as possible.  My list includes: one-on-one time with each member of my family, daily time with God, keeping my home reasonably tidy, getting exercise a few times a week, getting enough sleep, writing work, home school responsibilities, and very little else.  

You might notice, there are plenty of good things that did not make my list:  A super organized house.  A thriving social life.  Meals made of all organic, locally grown produce.  Ironing.  Charity work.  Training for races.   Home fix-up projects.  (and the list goes on.)  These are all good things, many of which I value and get to when I can (except ironing — that’s a lost cause. 😉)  but these things take back seat to the higher-priority items.

Choosing to put high priority things first in my life helps me establish order and be at peace with my daily schedule.

Which leads me to the next checkpoint:

2.  Know your season

This goes hand-in-hand with the first point, but is a worthwhile reminder.  Our priorities change as we grow and change.  Balance is dynamic.

When my kids are grown, my social life might just pick up a bit (I can hope!)  When I’m not homeschooling boys, I might have time to alphabetize my spices (though unlikely).  I hope to be much more involved in charities and service work later, but right now it just doesn’t fit as a high priority, except where it involves my kids.  Coming to terms with the season we are in is extremely freeing, and helpful as we narrow down our focus.

3.  Recognize strengths and weaknesses.

Let’s face it:  It’s easy for us to spend the bulk of our time doing the things we enjoy, are good at, or get something out of.  This isn’t wrong, but it is important to be mindful of as we work towards greater balance in our lives.

I love to exercise (and the benefits of it), so it’s not hard for me to make time for it.
I do not love washing windows, so…please don’t look too close.
I find cooking enjoyable, so I make time to cook great meals for my family.
I do not enjoy cleaning out the fridge, so you might find last week’s leftovers tucked in the back…and I’m embarrassed about that.

It’s ok to focus on what we’re good at.  But we still need to MANAGE the things we are not good at.

Confession:  Since I’ve started blogging, my attention to home-details has gone down a bit.  Ok, maybe a lot.   Honestly, I don’t think this shift has been all bad.  I kind of think I used to focus a little too much on my home, and even a little mess could really upset me.  Now that I have something I am passionate about, I have better perspective.  Little messes aren’t such  big deal because I am filled up with other things.

YET.
My home.

My home still needs to be clean and orderly.  Both for my sanity, and because that is the environment I want for my family.  Which leads me to…

Managing the things I’m not good at:  {Delegating, outsourcing, and letting go.}

Since my writing work is taking up more time, and bringing in some income, I have more recently hired someone to help clean our house twice  month.  This does not take away the need for all of us to do daily clean-ups, but it does ease my burden a little bit.   (Of course I have assigned a good amount of chores to each of my boys as well.)

Since my mornings are some of my busiest times (that’s when I have quiet time, write, and occasionally get to work out), I have recruited my boys to help make hot breakfasts a couple of times a week.  And guess what?  They’re good at it, and they enjoy it!  (And yes, you’re welcome,  future daughter-in-laws!)

And then there are other things that I have just learned to let go.  There are days where I walk around, take deep breaths, and literally say out loud “You cannot do it all.  LET IT GO.”   I’ve learned to give myself grace, to not apologize to people who stop by unexpectedly, and to enjoy life right in the middle of it.  And honestly, I feel like this is a growing up thing.

4.  Know when to ask for help.

I think especially as women, we tend to pile more and more on ourselves without even realizing it.  I know that I often keep adding to my load (and my stress level) without even considering that there are actually options available.  Sometimes it is when I am finally at breaking point, that I finally turn to my husband, who is like “I’m happy to help!”  I just needed to ask.

Whether you’re working outside the home, managing your family, (or both), there are usually options that you don’t even think of because you’re so darned self-sufficient.  Look for areas someone else might share your load — through trading, car-pooling, or just asking for a friend when you need one.

5.  Reflect often.  Listen to your inner circle.  

Remember:  Balance is dynamic.  What was working for us last year, may not work this year.  We need to constantly reflect on how we’re doing.  Am I keeping up with the kids’ needs well enough for their ages/stages of life?  Have I moved off-center or gotten out of balance in any specific ways?  Some seasons our body seems to need more rest than others.  Some seasons we need more time with friends, or family…Take some time to step back and be objective about your life.

Another important way to check on your life balance is to check in with those closest to us.  Ask family or close friends how they see us in this area of life-balance.  Then listen.  It might be hard to hear, but your kids will tell you if they think you’re out of balance.  Your spouse will likely see it if you’re leaning too far one way or the other.  Those who know us well will give us the feedback we need almost every time.

Now friends, it’s your turn:  Which of these FIVE areas is hardest for you to keep in check?   How are you doing on your priorities?  I’d love to hear from you, so share in comments!

NOW FOR THE BOOK GIVEAWAY WINNERS!!  First of all, thank you all so much for the amazing comments, kind words, and honest feedback.  I wish I could give every single one of you a book.  For those whose names were not chosen, please consider this small purchase — I really believe this book can change your life!
CONGRATS TO:  Nica, and Heather (from Heathersdish.com— a blog that I adore! 🙂 )  Please send me a quick email using my contact form and let me know the best email address to send the KINDLE LINK to!  Aloha and hugs all the way around!

With much Aloha,
Monica