Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


  1. I needed this. Thank you. We are venturing into the early teenage years and my thirteen year old has become quite full of attitude, amongst other not so lovely behaviors. Finding moments to just talk and hang out and not instruct and give advice has become our biggest challenge. I’m so looking forward to getting over this hump and enjoying the young man I know he will become. You’re words are always inspiring and motivating!

    1. Thank you so much Erin! Sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing! And way to keep your eyes on the horizon and believe in who your son is becoming…I think that is super helpful. Bless you and keep me posted, k? 🙂 Aloha!

  2. Amy Culak says:

    So on point! Like your friend, I also jumped off the Merry-go-round of my career climb, as The Lord pushed on me and my husband to make changes for me to be home full time with our boys. They are almost 14 and it’s been 9 yrs full time hm and the 5 before, p/t, and it’s been so sweet, goes so fast and no legacy could be more important than investing in these precious lives who will likely one day be husbands and daddies themselves❤️ Love your blog and the honesty, grace and encouragement…helps in raising boys in a Christian home yet in a very anti-Christian culture.

    1. Thank you so much Amy! I have so much respect for your life choice in light of being a great mommy! Way to go. Thank you for the encouraging words. We all need each other, that is for sure! 😉 XO

  3. Very well said Monica! Love your insight, as always! All great points and i agree completely in the importance of all 4! Thanks so much for sharing!

  4. Thank you Monica for these stages and your personal view point, I appreciate it. These 4 points are so true, my eldest Son who is 18 and I have always had a very close relationship. From the moment he was born I felt a deep connection with him. Maybe it was more him being the first born that made me be more in awe of him. As he has grown up I have struggled with letting him go. 6 months ago, he left home and moved in with his girlfriend. I thought my heart was bleeding internally, the physical pain was awful and the emotional pain unbearable. I have realised that my inability to let him go was more my issue than his. My needs to mother and nurture and that I had tied my complete self worth into Mothering all of my children. It was a totally awakening for me. Although I feel he has left too soon, I am able to be a better mentor for him and so is his Father now that we are not dealing with teenage tantrums and disrespect and arguments every day. Our relationship is better overall. I think some children need to fly from the family next sooner than others to grow. Now within myself I feel lighter and able to remove all the fears and anxieties tied up with my mothering. I am a better Mother to him and to his younger Brother because as you’ve said and you are completely right that we are teaching them to be independent from a very young age and teaching them to develop skills to survive with or without us. So out of all my pain and grief and self punishment I have given myself came the awakening that I must have done a great job because he is doing very well, and he spends more quality time with us now and we have more laughter within our Family now that he is independent. This article has really cemented what I have been feeling and putting it into the stages makes it even more clear . Thank you and God Bless xx

    1. Oh Michelle,I seriously felt your pain in my heart reading that! Yikes…I have a lot ahead still! 🙂 Sounds like you have not only handled things well, but allowed it to teach you a lot too. Well done! We are all a work in progress, and growth continues for a lifetime. I am so glad to hear that things are going well now, and I pray that they continue. Much Aloha, thank you for sharing your experience with us!

  5. Playing with my kids and working at talking, honesty and showing love is a major factor in keeping a strong relationship with them. Now that I have a 21yr old, 19 yr old and two teens, my 21 yr old has no problem telling me what we did right and what we could improve on, lol! Now that he is officially my ‘Man’-child.

  6. As a 2 working parent family we made the family dinner table the center point for our family connection and it really worked. In all the years our kids were in school, right up to high school graduation, we rarely missed a night where we all sat down together and those are some of my favorite memories. We talked, really talked, about everything with our kids and laughed and made a point to know them. It makes all the difference.

    I really enjoyed this article. It really spoke to the way we raised our kids and maybe it’s because I’m in that stage now but I think release is the hardest part. But you are right. It is our job to prepare them to go, to go out into the world and be productive and eventually recreate this circle with their own family.

    1. Beautifully said, Karen! I love that! And I love the dinner table and how you look back on it now! Thank you so much for commenting! 🙂 You have done a great job, and this week looking at colleges has me all a mess about the release part…Oh my. Aloha ! xo

  7. Monica,

    Are you guys going to be around anytime between May 25 and June 6? I/we would like to talk with you about this very subject, if you are around when we come over.

    1. You bet Kendall! I am looking forward to seeing you guys! Early June is best (we finish homeschool end of May) so I’ll be in touch with Teresa soon! :)) Aloha!

      1. Aloha my friend,

        We are so looking forward to our trip “home”.,

  8. Thank you for this! Again you inspire and motivate me. I feel I am headed in a good direction with my 2 boys, but this right here helps give me focus. Sometimes when I just fon’t know what to do with them, ( things are crazy or they are naughty) I spend one on one time with them. It’s always the answer for me. And thank you for reminding me that my decision to work less & put my career goals aside for them was indeed the right decision. Thanks for making good parenting feel attainable!! Love you!!


    1. Thank you Tomi! I’m so glad this (and other posts) encourage you in your parenting. Sounds like you are intentional in your approach to life and family and it will indeed pay off! Keep up the great work. 🙂 ALoha-