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  1. One of my most shameful memories is totally losing my cool with my (now ex) stepdaughter because she wouldn’t share her sweets with my daughter, who idolized her and always shared everything. I understand now much of my frustration with her really came from my poor relationship with her father. Sounds like a super awesome book and something I would have appreciated and valued back then before the kids left home. Wishing them much success!

    1. oh we all have our (shame) stories, don’t we?…I recently brought up one of my personal “lows” to my son and he couldn’t even remember it. I was so thankful. But funny how I won’t ever forget it. Thanks so much for commenting. blessings to you–

  2. Kerri Brigham says:

    Good morning Monica,
    This email comes again from Wellington/West Palm Beach Florida I wanted to respond to your email about eight things teenagers will appreciate. That was so good I printed it out because our church was starting a new class for parents of teenagers and now this one hits home so much with me I feel like I pray daily for the Lord to give me the ability to overcome these triggers of anger, frustration etc. I feel I am getting a handle on it because the spirit put on my heart to go through the fruits . Monica thank you so much for what you do through this communication to those who are parents you’re amazing. Can’t wait to meet you.🌷🙋

    1. Thank you Kerri! That means a lot to me. Hang in there and keep pressing on. Change does happen and you will see it and appreciate it as it happens! Keep it up! Bless you as well!!

  3. Alessia Mambretti says:

    Hi Monica! This is Alessia. Remember me? I already wrote you an e mail here in your blog trying g to catch up. Anyway , I am so glad I read this today! This is exactly what I needed as right now , with my two wonderful toddler boys I feel so exhausted and angry and.. On the edge.. And alone..( and exhausted again!) all the time.. We moved to San Diego and my husban is gone days and nights in a carrier. And if course I have no family nearby. I am home with my boys ( which is something I always wanted and I feel blessed for ) but I struggle arriving at the end of the days without getting so frustrated and upset .. And of course raising my voice .I am the angriest with the two people I love the most in the world! I am so sad and ashamed! I keep thinking ” where does this anger come from?” ” why am I always so angry?” I will buy the book today. Thanks . Ciao

  4. What do you do when yelling has become a habit? My trigger..not being respected & having your child argue with you no matter what you say..Yelling for years has gotten me no where. I’ve tried talking, asking, reasoning, pleading, begging, screaming, yelling, & insulting, nothing has ever worked.. I blame the fact that my husband disrespected me our whole marriage that my children have, do & always will..no hope..

    1. I’m so sorry Bea, I understand that hopeful feeling. But there really is hope! I encourage you to buy the book and give it a read, I truly believe you will find a lot of hope there!
      The best advice I can give is to really commit to quit yelling, and make that your personal goal. Then work out the best fitting consequences for behaviors that are unacceptable. A swift consequence that is not fun for a child will be more effective than yelling (or anything else you named) every time. It’s what I really work on though it truly is challenging! Get the book!! 🙂 XOXOX

      1. Karen Shenk Zeager says:

        I would suggest free yourself from disrespecting husband. I became calm and less yelling as a mom and fun again once my abusive spouse and I separated. I rediscovered my loving, less miserable and no yelling self again. And felt more respected by children when he wasn’t around.

  5. Ahh… my on-going downfall. Not only do I lose my cool more often than I’d care to admit, but I really beat myself up over it. It’s not good for anyone.
    I do try to use some strategies. First of all, I try to speak less. I remind myself of all of the ways I am a wonderful parent ( A big thanks to my awesome husband who suggested I try this when I fixate on the fact that I yelled, AGAIN…). I apologize-often and sincerely. I try to speak the truth of who I believe my children truly are and the qualities I know will grow in them ( Thanks, Monica!)
    Here’s a strategy that a friend of mine who is a retired teacher and family counselor suggested: When you want to yell, sing the message instead. Weird, but it keeps things calm. It also works to replace yelling with whispering-an old classroom management technique!
    Honestly, our tense times come when we are all spread thin. We are an on- the -go family, but when fuses are short I know it is time to be the grown-up and make some room for downtime. Nobody is going to suffer from a missed gymnastics lesson or lack of playdates on a given weekend.
    Adding this book to my reading list!

    1. Love it Shannon-thank you! I’m wondering how I might do at singing the message…haha, It’s definitely worth a try! I’d like to believe I have enough strength to do it even when I’m mad!!
      You’re right…spread too thin…so true. And funny how a missed class or playdate (or being ten minutes late…again) can FEEL like end of the world when really it is so no big deal when you’re thinking straight!! aloha to you, and always love to hear your perspective! xo

      1. Mostly the singing just makes us laugh- which works wonders for us all!

  6. Ugh. This hit me square in between the eyes. I was one of those people pre-kids who said I could never get angry or much less yell at my kids. Yet I’ve been there more than I’d like to admit, just a mere 3 years into parenting. I’ve also been quick to say something along the line of how “my toddler really knows how to push my buttons” and place the blame on him. Yet I fail to see the root of my own heart issues as being the thing responsible for my anger. Thank you for sharing about this book – I’m off to buy it right now. xo

    1. Oh you are so not alone. I’m glad you’re getting the book now–You’ll find it so helpful in the years to come. Be blessed and be encouraged–you’re doing an amazing Job I know!! XOXO