The Why and How of Disciplining Our Kids, with Dr. Dave

Your questions answered!

As we are finishing up this fall series on the most frequently-asked-parenting questions, today we come to the topic that I have probably been asked the very most about: DISCIPLINE! I am grateful to have my husband with me to cover this challenging and potentially divisive, but incredibly important topic!

Dave and I begin this episode with the WHY of discipline. We share Scripture and common sense reasons for disciplining our kids, ideally starting at a very young age. We spend the second part of the episode sharing some of the “how” of discipline…from our experience as well as the research we have done. We cover the biblical concept of “the rod”, as well as using our kids’ “currency” to offer natural and logical consequences. Be sure to visit my website show-notes for a free printable with helpful guidelines for discipline!

NOTES:

A printable download with guidelines for using Consequences and Discipline:

Monica’s Four steps to Good Discipline:
1. Relationship comes first.
2. Teach
3. Train
4. Correct (Discipline)
(repeat. 😉)

Scripture & Quotes from the Episode:
~ Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.”
~ Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.”
~ Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
~ Proverbs 23:13-14 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod he will not die. If you strike I’m with the rod you will save him from Sheol.”
~ Proverbs 13:26 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son but he who loves him is diligent to discipline.”
~“Training”: The process of learning the skills you need to do a particular job or activity.
~Cloud and Townsend: “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.”
~ Frederick Douglas: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”
~ Hebrews 12:5-11 “And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”
~ Also see Psalm 23

An excellent episode on discipline on Durenda Wilson’s podcast

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Thanks to this episode’s sponsor: Diveintomath.com
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The Monica Swanson Podcast is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual resources to help you grow into the parent you want to be, visit www.christianparenting.org

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