This afternoon, just after giving my preschooler some quality one-on-one time, I sat down to get some work done. Playing letter-bingo, a floor puzzle, and a few rounds of CandyLand, I really felt like I had filled his little love tank. So, I set him up to work on a quiet activity, and I sat down to type a few words…
Which clearly was his cue to find eight hundred reasons to interrupt me. You know, preschooler-edition of the basic human needs: “Can I use your iPhone?” “Will you roll up my sleeves?” “Will you roll down my sleeves?” “I need juice,” and “I’m so bored…Why can’t I use your iPhone?”
At which point it hit me that before I do another “What anyone needs from ME,” post, I really need to flip the tables and scream…(I mean, quietly suggest) “What about us moms?” “What do WE need most!?” Because let’s just hook arms right now and declare: We have needs too.! And ya’ know what? We parent a lot better when a few (I’m not talking big numbers, just a measly few) of those basic needs are met.
(I know I hear an Amen out there…)
And I should mention that I’m trying hard to make this a need list, not a want list…You might notice that I’m leaving out things my personal “want/needs” like pedicures, massages, a clean car, or the chance to take a shower every day. Because yes, I’m a realist.
SO here’s my short list. You might want to print this out, magnet it to the fridge, or find someplace obvious for those literate humans in your family to stumble upon. OR, you might want to write your own list. Make it specific. But listen close Mommas! Here is the key: We can’t expect our family to read our minds! This isn’t a time for self-pity, or resenting motherhood. (Most of us wouldn’t trade this motherhood journey for anything!) We simply need to learn to recognize and communicate what our greatest needs are. Hint: Some of these needs are best met by us arranging for it ourselves. And there’s nothing wrong with that, either.
I even made a printable edition for you!! Click HERE to get it! 🙂
1. Sleep. The uninterupted kind.
2. Coffee. Plenty of it.
3. A hot shower. Alone.
4. Appreciation. Spoken words. Written words. Just let us know you notice.
5. Some time alone with Dad.
6. Regular time with girlfriends. (There are some things only other women will understand.)
7. A creative outlet. An old one. A new one. Maybe one yet to be discovered.
8. Encouragement. Daily. If possible–many times a day.
9. Permission to have an occasional emotional meltdown. Because let’s be honest: Sometimes nothing feels better than a serious ugly cry.
10. A nap.
11. Some romance. (if you’re really smart you’ll spell that out too.)
12. Some new clothes. (Picking up Costco’s latest does not count.)
13. Exercise. If it is not scheduled, it won’t happen, and it is easy to put our own health behind everything else. Help support us here!
14. Grace. We’re doing our best, but we are still human.
15. A hand getting the house clean. Family: Pitch in…Get the kids to help…Hire a house cleaner. Just don’t leave it all to Mom all of the time.
16. A good book. And the chance to read it now and then.
17. Yummy food that we don’t have to cook. Husbands: Cook for us. Or get takeout. Or take us out. Just feed us something delicious that we don’t have to make (or clean up!) once in a while.
18. Some time to ourselves. All alone. Or at the very least, the chance to use the bathroom without interruption.
19. Chocolate. Our own stash. Please don’t touch it.
20. Laughter. Every day.
21. Thoughtfulness. A kind note. A spontaneous gift. A box of chocolates.
22. More Coffee. **At a real coffee shop, without the kids. (Bringing a friend or a book is a bonus.)
23. Unexpected things. Mommyhood can be so mundane. Surprise us! Flowers or a gift. A trip to Paris (we can dream.) Rescue us from monotony.
24. A vacation–Or at least the chance to plan and dream about one. Even if it is years away, dreaming and planning is half of the fun.|
25. Prayer. Don’t forget–We need it too!
OK friends–add your own thoughts to the list, or tell us which ones resonated with you the most! (I’m certain that I forgot a few!)
Also–Please pin or share with the other moms in your life. 🙂
Much love to you all, and have an amazing weekend!