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  1. John McKenna says:

    You’ve hit the nail on the head!

    I’m a naturally skinny person. It took me literally years of hard work in the gym and sticking to eating 3 meals a day just to develop a medium build.

    So many of my overweight friends would be, and still are shocked about how I can get busy with a project and forget to eat all day. I’ve also noticed that they adhere to nonsensical fallacies like “breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”
    I rarely eat breakfast. Or my favorite, “if you don’t eat your body will think it’s being starved and it will store fat!” I’ll at times go all day without food and they’ll react like I’m committing some atrocious act upon myself congruent with suicidal ideation!

    The diet industry, which by the way is the most profitable industry in America. It’s more profitable than IT, more than renewable energy and yes, even more than the pharmaceutical industry. Why, because they feed overweight people the idea that this diet or that one will be “easy” and that the weight will just melt off with little or no effort. They even encourage them to incorporate “cheat meals” or even “cheat days!” The truth is, getting an overweight person to NOT obsess over food will be the hardest thing they will ever do in their lives. No amount of dieting will ever replace the neurological pathways that they’ve developed since childhood. Even the ones who’ve lost the weight will still tell you that not reverting to their old ways of thinking and eating is a constant struggle. Which is one of the reasons why if they have a crisis in their life., boom! Right back to the old ways. Skinny people have a crisis., they don’t eat for 2 days, often even longer than that!

    You definitely see the difference. It’s the mind, not the brain, not the metabolism or the numerous other “wives tales” that the diet industry tells you.

    “Change your mind., your ass will follow.”

  2. “naturally skinny” person here :). I actually am obsessed with food and i do actually eat a lot…but it’s like no matter how much i eat, i stay thin. I actually feel way to skinny, and i have a lot of body image issues. It’s like no matter what i do, i look unnatural and gawky. My family says I’m not overly skinny and i just look a “good” amount of thin, but i still feel unhappy with how i look. I think I’m gonna try and eat healthier food and working out (I have basically no muscle which definitely isn’t helping with my issues). I’m hoping it will help me feel better and healthier and happier. Well that’s all I guess :).

  3. The article is so informative. You’re right, I have noticed this my cousin sister who is skinny often not interested in eating activities.

  4. As someone who is naturally skinny , you are 100% correct but I also have to add , I eat small portions through out the day which I have read that helps too . But you are very much correct in everything else !

  5. Jennifer Schmidt says:

    Completely true. Food is a non-issue for thin people. When weight is an issue- it’s often times because you think about food all the time.

  6. Hi Monica,
    I find your article a bit helpful to me, I am 52 years old, 6’3 and my weight fluctuates between 145 and 155lbs, and I’ve started to get seriously annoyed, irritable, uncomfortable, and self-conscious with people making constant remarks about me being “skinny”, and therefore “lucky”. I found your site when I started to google how I could deal with that.
    Genetics play a certain role, granted. But everything is in the lifestyle, I don’t believe exercising does anything, I live around overweight people who spend 2 hours at the gym every day, and constantly b*tch about how they can’t lose weight. This includes my wife, always obsessed with her diets, prepares herself some “light” meals, but almost unaware pokes in the kids’ plates for fries, tots, and such, and during the day gets some so-called “light” candy bars for snacks, and so on. Then annoyed at me, says that I’m just so lucky to be skinny. WRONG! I really resent people pointing out my body shape, it started to make me feel worried whether there’s something wrong with me.
    You’re point-on when you say we just forget to eat, for example, I’m hanging out playing my guitar, having a good time and it doesn’t occur to me that it’s noon and therefore I should get something to eat. Another interesting fact, I usually don’t eat fried food, the feeling of the peanut oil getting squeezed out in my mouth when I take a bite is as repulsive as taking a drag from a cigarette after quitting smoking years ago.
    Then like everybody else I can get very hungry, and would enjoy a good meal, we go out with friends to a restaurant, I treat myself to a 20oz steak, a few heaping scoops of mashed potatoes, clean off my plate, and there you go…: “Man you’re so lucky, how can you eat so much and be so skinny”.
    So I just want to tell people out there: How do you think that makes me feel? Am I supposed to feel bad about myself because I should feel sorry for you? I don’t give a sh*t about my family members, friends, colleagues’ weight. Never, of course, would I say, out of nowhere, “Dude, you eat so little, how come you’re fat?”. So please leave me the f*ck alone with what’s on my plate, I have my own issues, health, and whatnots, I’m not lucky.

    1. Wispy Girl says:

      Hi Frank

      I am pretty “skinny” myself. People comment freely about my size and question my eating habits.
      I, like you, do not comment about the weight, size or food consumption habits of others. I think it’s bad manners. Everyone has a mirror and a scale. It shows a lack of respect for personal boundaries.

      I have a small frame and have always been slimmer than the average person. I always exercise regularly (I swim) because it makes me feel good and it’s healthy for my body.

      One thing that happened recently in my life is that I had to stop drinking so much red wine because I was getting bad headaches and not sleeping well. Weight just began to fall off me. I think it’s because of the calories in the wine. I think the wine used to whet my appetite a little bit too. It also probably effected my metabolism somewhat.

      Long story short, didn’t really change too much except wine consumption.
      I also do not eat as much fish as I once did.I rarely eat meat.

      I’m not a great cook with a tricked out kitchen. I do my best to prepare tasty meals with nourishing ingredients. My refrigerator is stocked with healthy foods. I think of food as fuel for my body to work correctly – brain-heart-lungs-bones – teeth – etc.

      I am a little self conscious about being skinny. That’s just the way I am. I always carry healthy snacks with me because I get involved with one thing or another and skip a meal here and there. I want to make sure my body gets enough nutrition.

      I know I am a skinny girl. I just accept it. I hope others do too.

  7. Denise Donnelly says:

    I read your summary here. I was curious about weight issues as I have both under and over weight issues within the same family. So I do believe you are correct. That a lot of the issue is within the individuals mind as we generally all have the same meals togethere. I happen to be on the skinny end. And my son is now having a weight gain issue while my aunt who is a vegetarian is having issues of excessive weight. I was wondering if we might be able to help each other in some areas of finding out the actual truth of the matter as what we are being told doesn’t seem to fit with what we see happening in reality in reference to eating verses weight.

  8. As a person who has never struggled with weight. I’ve always been thin, this article gave a very accurate description of my own relationship with food. For me, food is a tool. I eat because I have to, when I have to so I can keep doing whatever else I was doing before. It’s kinda of a chore most days.

    Unless I’m going on a date or it’s a special occasion I don’t think about a meal until I’m ready to eat.

    Other than that, I do the typical stuff like, stock the kitchen with healthy foods, exercise, and practice good sleeping habits.

  9. This article is a little hurtful. People who have trouble managing their weight don’t automatically obsess about what they eat. Something caused them to get to that point. I am one of those women sort of in the middle when it comes to metabolism. I am not a super skinny person. I have to do some work to manage my weight. This means being mindful what I eat and good exercise. Many people have stress, anxiety or depression in their lives. It hard to ignore that emotional eating is real and it doesn’t just affect severely overweight people. I am not going to pretend that just working out and watching what I eat is all the magic of why I am not overweight.

  10. So i do have one of these friends, but when I say skinny, i mean skinny. You can almost always see her arm bones and is able to wrap your pointer and thumb, still making them touch around her arm. She has a low metabolism. She so skinny tho like how.

  11. Seeing the title of this post, my initial plan was to bash it but I decided I’d be prudent to read it first. I found the portion about Naturally Skinny People (I refer to myself as Slim, it’s a nickname and I feel the term, skinny as closer to unhealthy) not obsessing over food though consuming a lot of it interesting. Also, forgetting to eat and just generally being happy because of the lack of a food obsession. I find that I could do nothing but agree with you. I have been naturally SLIM all my life (by slim I mean an athletic build though not overly so), fluctuating between 90-100. Upon hitting 25, my fluctuation became 100-115. I am currently 115. I hit the gym because I like it and have been eating healthier because I want to, another portion of your article that I couldn’t help but agree with. I have a genetically fast metabolism and honestly need to do neither except for the fact that I like to. You’re spot on about how we see and perceive ourselves being the key to a healthier weight. Ignore people like Jessica. The fact that she had the gall to use the phrase, “gross and fat” indicates deep seeded issues. Keep building people up. You’re a rarity.

    1. oh wow, thank you so much for the comment…means a lot, especially considering your first thoughts! 😉 I have hesitated to use the “skinny” word but I think if people take the time to read (especially my book) then they’ll get it. Either way, thank you for the encouragement! xo

  12. I don’t know how old this article is, but the article below yours on Google search is https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/01/190124141538.htm
    About the genetic differences that give skinny people the advantage. Actual research. Instead of skinny people patting each other on the back like this comment section. I’m not gross and fat btw. Just a scientist with an interest in the truth.

    1. Hi Jessica, the article is a few years old but the heart of it is still something I stand behind. I have never claimed that genetics do not play a role and if you read the article (or even more, the book that came out since) you will see that I am sharing my very real story and a message that has literally changed thousands of lives since. It is not denying science in any way, but addressing the VERY REAL issue of how much our THOUGHTS affect our feelings and behaviors…That is also science — neuroscience specifically. The two ideas do not contradict each other, I’m just here to help those who are seeking help with obsessive thoughts that I know they can change, with God’s help. Thank you for your comment, but just so you know it did come across quite rude and I nearly deleted it because of the tone (which is not how I like to roll around here) but I wanted to at least address your argument as I’d love to assume you really are a truth -seeker as you say. Hope this helps clear things up a bit.

  13. To sum it up in one phrase, as my grandma would say, “Eat to live, don’t live to eat” 😉

    Thank you for not shaming us “naturally skinny” ladies. Those are difficult waters to navigate!

  14. Nancy Calvin says:

    I am “Naturally Skinny” was a toothpick most of my life, although I have gained some weight at times, it made me uncomfortable. I am used to being “ thin”. I have been a size 0-4. I have been up and down with my weight many times.
    After losing two of my pups within a year and the Pandemic caused me to have no appetite. So back to 0. I am very upset to have lost so much weight. It isn’t easy when you don’t care about food or can only consume small amounts at a time.
    Being Skinny has it’s perks but trying to gain at this time in my life isn’t easy. I am a 63 year old woman who eats healthy and I don’t eat unhealthy foods. I exercise with a hula hoop everyday. So will I gain weight again? Who knows.

    1. Sorry to heat that, losing TWO pups and in such a short span of time, that’s heartbreaking. Anybody would lose weight after that!

    2. Denise Donnelly says:

      That seems to be another important fact or difference. When people get emotional. Who eats to cope and who likes their appetite and is there a correlation between the two?

  15. This is so true. I have always struggled with my weight, from as early as I can remember. At one point, I got addicted to prescription appetite suppressants. Not only did I finally get thin and feel great, but I was no longer obsessed with food. It used to be if I went to a movie I’d stress before about if I was going to get popcorn or candy. If I didn’t, I’d spend the whole movie thinking about it, and if I did I’d spend the whole movie beating myself up, promising myself I’d skip dinner, then get so obsessed with dinner that I’d usually end up eating a whole pizza or something. With appetite suppressants I’d just go and enjoy a movie. Same with concerts and festivals. Instead of spending the whole time thinking about what I would or wouldn’t eat, I’d enjoy the show! I was more productive and focused at work. You can’t imagine how exhausting it is to be in a constant mental battle with food every waking hour unless you’ve experienced it.

    I think the people who disagree with your article saying they are thin but eat a lot are confusing eating a lot with thinking about food constantly. You may eat a lot, but if you aren’t thinking about food all day even when you’re not eating, then you’re probably a naturally skinny person. I still ate on appetite suppressants, I just wasn’t constantly thinking about food. It was such a relief, so much less stressful, to finally be free of thinking about food. Unfortunately that was years ago, I developed a tolerance for the appetite suppressants, and I am back to obsessing about food. People who are naturally thin don’t understand. I go to bed at thinking about what I’ll eat the next day. I wake up in the morning excited to eat, eating is the only thing I ever get excited about. I day dream about lunch. When I’m trying to lose weight and be healthy I prepare my calorie conscious meal, eat it, am still unsatisfied, and want junk food, so I spend the next several hours reading and re reading the recipe for the next healthy meal to keep myself from thinking about junk food. Food permeates everything, my work, my relationships, it hangs like a heavy cloud over me day and night. Naturally thin people may say you’re wrong because they eat a lot, but it’s not about how much you eat, it’s about an obsession with food that won’t go away. I try to retrain my mind and thoughts. It’s so hard. My main hope is that I can win the battle more days than I lost it.

    1. Hey Becky! Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly. I’m sorry for the battle you are in. I’m so glad you are no longer depending on the appetite suppressants. Have you been able to read my book yet (The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny Friends?) I believe it can really help you take the next steps. Please keep me posted!
      Blessings and aloha

    2. I read what you said. I completely get it, and I’m sorry. It haunts me too and we can’t just switch it off, but a day will come where it no longer dominates your life. Not ‘just like that,’ and maybe not even purposefully, but we can’t live like this forever. Thank you for giving me hope as I saw myself in your words and knew that I’m not alone

  16. I have been been the same weight since I was 17. I am also an animal Nutritionist by training, how one stays skinny has little to do with metabolism, this varies little person to person. It is simple math eat fewer calories then you need depending on your size, weight age, sex, activity level. I eat fast food 4-5 times a week but I require about 3200 calories per day and I only ussualy eat one big meal in the afternoon and small one at night and few small snacks, everytime I calculate it my calories going in are 2800-3000 below my needs even. All my friends are overweight and they claim it’s my metabolism, it’s not it’s the fact they eat 3 full meals a day and are more naturally hungry then me, that part is genetic. I agree I am someone like my parents that looks at eating as a pain in the butt and I would rather keep working then go make a meal and often I do.

    It’s just simple math consume fewer calories then you need and you too can be thin!

  17. Wonderful article! I have been very thin my entire life in fact had tried to gain weight my entire life because I wanted to be voluptuous. But as a result I’ve never worried about my weight and stopped caring about gaining weight and just eat what I want when I’m hungry I’ve given up eating sugar because it makes me feel gross. I’ve told friends not to worry about what they eat and just eat when they’re hungry and not worry about it I think you’re really onto something and I believe now that may be the reason I’ve been through my whole life even after two children at age 50 I’m in fantastic shape and I don’t really do much other than have fun and exercise whenever I feel like it and eat whatever I want.

  18. Thank you for this thoughtful article. I was “naturally” thin as a young child, and now that I think of it, I never was obsessed with food then. It was only when I started a disastrous diet regime that I began to binge eat and yoyo in my weight, far beyond what I weighed at first… I will try and replicate my thought patterns from before my relationship with food got messed up!

    1. Ellen, thank you for the comment. Bless you — you are not alone! I think the Skinny Friends book would be really helpful to you. Keep me posted and I believe you can overcome the negatives and live healthy, happy, and free! 🙂

  19. Most of my friends are naturally skinny but they are OBSSESED with food . I just don’t understand…. they eat all the time while i don’t eat anything at all and I’m still very fat …. help me

    1. Betty, I’m so sorry…I know this is such a hard subject and perhaps you have friends who truly have genetically fast metabolisms (and you may have slow…) but if you truly don’t eat much, your body ought to be losing weight…so you might should see a doctor to find out if you have thyroid issues or something else medically off. And if you watch your friends closely, I’d be curious if they eat as much as you perceive or if they just talk about food a lot, etc. Either way, I’m so sorry and either way I do believe my book would help you! 🙂 God bless and hang in there– there is hope!!

  20. I have found that this is essentially not true. I have 2 very skinny friends that would both be considered “underweight” but they eat excessively. One of them needs to eat every 4 hours or we won’t hear the end of it until we get her the slices of pizza, mcdonald’s, or candy she wants. I am considered in the “overweight” side of the BMI and I eat many less calories (about 1500-1600 a day). Meanwhile she may be eating anywhere from 2000-3000 calories a day… she is also 5’2 and I’m 5’8. So yeah, I disagree with this, maybe for some people this is true, but genetics play a HUGE role, much more than mindset.

    1. Hey Jenn, Thanks for commenting.
      I have always acknowledged that metabolism plays a role, but certainly not nearly what people try to give it credit for. From what you described, if your friends eat that much and are underweight, I would imagine they have a thyroid or other medical condition…that is not normal for eating that much as adults… For the more common person, however, there is no doubt that it comes down to calories in and calories out…which is definitely tied to how much they think about food. 🙂

      1. Carrie Davis says:

        Excellent point and very true! I am 41 a mother of 4 children (carried all of my babies full term and had natural births.) I mention this because I am curious to know how many “naturally skinny people” were considered as such before having children. I have had many friends that were “naturally skinny” until they became a mother, and never shed their “baby weight.” I have had the best self esteem when breast feeding with the extra pounds and curves that would quickly diminish once my babies were fully weaned, and I was back to a size 3-5 in juniors sizes 3-5 or even had times I was down to 112lbs a size 0-3 in juniors. I have had struggled with my
        confidence in shorts, swimwear, tank tops, even dresses and tight jeans or leggings for years! I have been told I need to eat more, asked if I am depressed because I’m too skinny, overheard others discussing if I have an eating disorder or a drug problem! I even got harassed by a police officer when I was pulled over for speeding he asked me what was my drug of choice and searched my car and purse for drug paarifinallia because he didn’t believe I was naturally skinny! I AM sharing this because although we all have an ideal image in our heads of
        what and how beauty is defined…we also all have our minds that lie to us because of our own life experiences and exposures.Here it is…change your mind to focus on what matters and everything else balances itself! Eat to give your body nutrients and energy not comfort. Comfort is living in the moment and making each moment count, taking in the worlds blessings and releasing negative thoughts and emotions not harboring morning. Ego is our enemy Soul and Spirit within are who we really are and we shine brighter than we ever thought possible and we experience joy and peace within when we separate our true self (always existed in our core and our hearts)from our false self (ego created in our minds). This is when we no longer feed our bodies junk, negative talk, toxins, pollutants, or things of no real goodness or value to benefit to bodies. We just eat what we crave naturally and indulging without guilt means it won’t stay it will metabolize! Emotions are the product of our thinking so think heather thoughts because you will then feel better because nothing is worse than trapped emotions that our ego creates to keep us down! Ego is evil, true spirit is peace, health, happiness, and joy!

      2. Denise Donnelly says:

        All of the points in this column play a part in this as we are all individually different. This is where the aid of this column lies. Seeing the many facts that can affect a persons gaining or losing weight and applying what is most closely related to your situa tion Or individual needs.

  21. I really think your theory is correct. I know that I am only 14 and I’m not overweight at all but with social media at my age there feels like there is a large amount of pressure of how you look. I’m around 5’3” and 110 lbs but that would be more from muscle than fat as I exercise alot. However since the beginning of high school I have always been thinking about what I eat, how much I eat and how healthy I eat. In fact I did your quiz from the introduction and I think I said no only twice. I hardly eat junk food and get tempted to eat junk food but I’m always jealous of my friends who are ‘naturally skinny’. But when I stumbled across this website, I stared in awe at how much I agreed and I thank you so much that I can stop these habits now and feel happy about how I look and eat. Its a hard issue as it can affect girls my age so again thank you so much for this.

  22. Honestly I think this really hits the nail on the head. I’m 5’10” and weigh around 110 lbs. At my highest I was 125 lbs. People always ask how I’m so skinny because I do enjoy food when I’m out with friends, etc. But on a day to day basis, I pretty much never think about food. Of course I love my favorite foods, but I tend to think of it more from a utility standpoint. I have to eat to survive, but I don’t really notice food until I’m feeling hungry. I have definitely forgotten to eat on many occasions too. I hate feeling stuffed so I usually just eat until I’m not hungry anymore, not until I’m completely full. Plus being a very slow eater, I usually don’t eat as much when I’m eating with other people as they all finish way before me and I don’t like to hold people up. That’s not to say everything I eat it healthy, it definitely isn’t. But I’m hoping to start eating better foods and exercising more for the health of my body in general, not because of my weight.

  23. The “naturally skinny” has been coined because of the way the food industry has changed the dynamics of food ingredients (corn fed beef vs. grass fed, hormones, etc). If you intentionally/unintentionally stay away from foods that are more “unnatural” and you only eat when you’re hungry then you are part of the “naturally skinny”, that’s what I think. I’m “naturally skinny” at 4’9 83 lbs have had 5 pregnancies (none of which I experienced morning sickness). However, when pregnant I FORCE myself to eat 3 meals, simply because my full term babies are always “low birth weight”. My youngest is 6 months old weighed 5 pounds. I eat if I’m hungry and snack if I’m what I call small hungry to build my appetite for the next meal time.

    1. Eph. 5:16,20 says:

      So, one’s eating more “natural” foods helps make them more “naturally skinny”. On top of aaaalllllll the other reasons, too.

  24. Yes, I agree with this for the most part. However, as a thin girl, I realize that this isn’t true. There are scientific studies that no matter you body shape, eating loads of junk food brings down your self esteem. I’ve said to myself, “Kimberly, if you keep eating like this you’re going to get fat!” Skinny people still get bloated and greasy after eating to much.

  25. Yes this is EXACTLY correct! I am tiny boned, 5’7, 118 pounds but don’t look too thin, this is my natural build. The only times I’ve gained weight are when I’ve conformed to habits of boyfriends, eating large and different meals for variety. Otherwise, like you said, I could not be bothered to think that much about every single meal. To save myself from the agony of what am I going to eat, I usually eat the same things every day. Every morning, I have a croissant and black coffee. If I eat lunch (as you mentioned, I get so busy I completely forget about it) it will either be snacks (bananas and unhealthy potato chips) or something I can easily cook on my foreman grill (wild salmon and charred broccoli)– but never both. I very rarely snack, unlike all my other friends who IMO eat like children having to stop for snacks every few hours. If I want a sandwich or a bagel, I eat one, NBD, I just don’t give it a lot of thought. While I sometimes love a good sweet, I don’t see the point in eating a mediocre one, so unless I’m near the best cookie shop I’m not interested. I don’t eat fried foods often because it makes me feel gross, not because I’m calorie counting. I do avoid dairy and chocolate because both make me break out and try not to eat too much sodium because it makes my face puffy, so worrying about my skin keeps me thin too. I am always flabbergasted by friends who are overweight, see me eat a bagel here or there and assume that my metabolism is so much higher. These are the same friends who always seem to be eating desserts or snacking and as you said, generally obsessing over what they eat. If you think of food as fuel and are distracted by other fun things in your life, not every meal has to be delicious and unique. I love and definitely appreciate good food (I am a blogger and often write about food when I travel) but it’s just not an every day thing I think about constantly.

  26. uh I guess you could say I’m one of those those “natural skinny” people (170cm 47kg female) an de honestly… I don’t think this theory is correct for me at least. I absolutely love food and I ALWAYS finish my food (sometimes i even ask my friends for their food and they give me some) but I honestly don’t watch what I eat and I don’t exercise a thing all because all my friends say “all you do is sit around and eat how are you still skinny” and I’m confused about that too. I think most of it is genetics and metabolism because my dad can eat whatever and he still won’t gain weight, so maybe I got his genes. But this is only my opinion and your point could probably apply to a lot of other naturally skinny people 🙂

  27. This is very interesting. I have compared notes with a friend of mine who was naturally skinny until he got sick and had to go on steroids long-term. He went from 150 pounds at 6’1” to 260 pounds in less than a year. I have been overweight my whole life, so now we are both trying to lose weight and are weight loss buddies. Anyway, he said he used to always eat whatever he wanted and didn’t even consider the calories, but he often skipped meals like breakfast if he wasn’t hungry, and wasn’t as hungry for the rest of the day after a big meal. He would pick at his food if he was given a meal when he wasn’t hungry. He usually only ate until he was just starting to get full, often about half the food on his plate, and he snacked mostly on fruits and vegetables, and sweets. He ate a fair number of sweets for snacks, but never really ate things like chips and popcorn, with the exception of nachos once in the while. He never drank diet soda, and drank lots of sugary tea. He also used to be active, but now he has no energy to exercise because of his condition. Now he never feels full (steroid side effect) and his eating has been thrown off because he can eat constantly and not feel full. He says he thinks about eating a lot now, when he never did before, and he eats every bite of what he orders when he goes out.

    As for me, I have always had a huge food obsession, for as long as I can remember. I was put on my first diet by my pediatrician at age five. Food is on my mind from the time I wake up, until the time I go to sleep. If I go to a party or something, I don’t care what we’re going to do, or who is going to be there, all I care about is what kind of food they are serving, and how much I can have. I make lists of meals I want to eat and restaurants I want to try. I think about my next meal while I’m eating, and I feel extremely hungry if I try to skip a meal. Nothing ever fills me up. I try to diet and eat healthy, but nothing satisfies my appetite. Today already, I have had a protein shake, two servings of vegetable soup, a cucumber, a bell pepper, some carrot sticks, and some popcorn. And believe it or not, I still feel extremely hungry, but I’m making myself wait until 12 noon to eat anything else. It’s crazy and I hate the way my mind works. I’m so frustrated with myself all the time, and I just want to be normal weight for once in my life.

  28. 6’4″ and 157lbs. I have to eat 4 meals a day and 3,750 calories total (measured on a spreadsheet). Otherwise I’ll lose weight fast. In fact I had flu in January and lost 25lbs in two weeks. Taken me one month to recover 8lbs back at least. I don’t have a fast thyroid (I get a blood test every year in April). Just burn calories very fast. So at the moment I have just started a weight training program but I’m afraid building more muscle is going to speed my metabolism even more. Not good. I don’t like eating 5-6 times a day really. It would have been easier if I had a normal body to start with so I can eat less like most bigger people do than having to eat tons just to be a “normal” weight instead of a skeleton.

    1. wow, that is fascinating! Thanks for sharing. There are always unique cases, and as frustrating as yours is, I think most of us would rather have that problem than the opposite. 🙂 Blessings.

      1. IDK… it’s such a burden to have to eat a ton. All that money and work to keep yourself fed… I’d rather be on a diet and portion out a little bit of food for the next few days, myself.

  29. Stephanie says:

    I would like to throw in my 2 cents….

    I am recently losing weight on a low-calorie diet. I have gone from 252lbs, to (currently) 148lbs, working on becoming 120-130lbs. I hit 104 lbs down.

    With that said…. I have talked to my boyfriend a LOT about our diet (we did it together, although he’s already reached his goal) and one of these types of topics came up for us, too.

    I think we both came to a conclusion, that WE both (maybe not everyone, though) agree on. You said somewhere in this article “do you follow a skinny person around all day?” You’re right – most of us don’t spend all day/everyday with our ‘skinny friend’ that we hate shoving that huge delicious burger in their mouth. It is very very possible that during your lunch hangout with that friend, they splurged a bit and got the burger! yay them! What we don’t see, is the REST of their week/daily lives. Maybe they pay more attention to tonight’s dinner, and tomorrow’s meal planning BECAUSE they had a huge burger at lunch with the girls!

    I used to have high school friends that could eat any/everything. I would gain the weight, they never did! But I didn’t see that they skipped meals…. they may have had yogurt/salad/healthy choices the entire week and they splurged on McDonalds with us today. I hated them! They always got the greasy junk delicious food! And I always felt guilty to have it too, because I was starting to get chubby. They weren’t.

    So I just wanted to add my 2 cents here. The way I will be coming out of my low-calorie diet, once I hit 120lbs, will be to change my eating habits as a WHOLE. If we go out to dinner and I get baked mac and cheese, just pay attention to my meals for the next couple days, and don’t have anything else calorie heavy as the macaroni until next outing sometime.

    Just paying attention to your weekly eating habits may be enough — as long as you don’t overdo it EVERY DAY… I think we will be okay.

    1. So well said, Stephanie! Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve nailed it. 🙂 I do think you’d enjoy my book (and it would support your journey) if you are able to get ahold of it. I encourage you to keep on keeping’ on. I’m sure you are enjoying the new life you’ve made so much. God bless!

  30. I would also mention that this is a very “white” mentality since a lot of black or Hispanic women don’t deal with body image issues nearly as severely as white women because their ideas of beauty and self worth are unaffected by their own social norms and attitudes about weight. So “thinking thin” would be not only a concept that’s unnecessary but actually undesirable as culture dictates that more weight is actually an attractive thing. So maybe the message should be “think ethnic.”

  31. I also disagree. I think a lot of it has to do with how you’re built and your genetics. When I was the same weight as my best friend (we’re the same height), I could still put her in front of me and I would look “bigger” because I am shaped differently. At 5’9 and 125 lbs I wore a size 4-6 but always had boobs, hips, and thighs. Therefore, some looks or outfits still made me look “fat” whereas she could wear whatever she wanted being thin through the hips and bust. That said, I can make observations based on where I was thin (then…get it?) and where I’m at now. Thinking as a empowered person rather than a thin person helps with being attractive and moving forward in life. I’ve dated attractive men including actors, models, and just average, really good men or successful men throughout my life at many different weights. Typically it’s only men who are insecure about themselves who have said anything about my weight (or I’ve observed talking about other women) and many don’t notice or don’t care and some prefer extra weight. A family member in particular will date an unattractive woman over a more exceptional woman as long as she’s thin. My opinion is that’s shallow and many of my single girlfriends have the same problem in that they won’t date a man who is “overweight” or unexceptional in their looks even if they have other qualities that are preferable and it’s my observation they’ve done that mostly because of how they feel about themselves, which is unfortunate. Excuse my candor, but I’ve had the best sex with men who have exuded confidence and found me desirable without inhibitions about being a certain size–and half of that passion has been because I have been able to find myself attractive regardless of society’s ideas about how thin I should be. But my point isn’t really men–it’s that when I invested in a job and an attitude of confidence despite my size (at a size 10 or a size 16), that’s when my life really changed. It wasn’t thinking “thin” it was accepting and loving myself regardless of my weight.

    1. This is a really great post! Just the sort of info and spirit I needed and I think a lot of women will appreciate. Love “your candor”, POV and stories.

  32. This isn’t true t all. I’m 5’10″and hover around 120 lbs normally. After having my daughter, that is probablu more like 115 lbs. I’m totally healthy and have never been able to gain weight (except when I was pregnant.) I have many family members in the same boat. I do eat more than most people as I have actively tried to gain weight very often. I have done 5000 calorie diets with no change. The only difference between myself and someone trying to loose weight is probably our weight goals. It is as hard to gain weight for a thin person as it is to lose weight for a heavier person.
    I have recently discovered macro counting though and it has helped me. My diet was so high in fats and protein that it had revved up my metabolism. It’s all about proportions so even though I wasn’t restricting carbs the large amounts of fat and proteins had me losing weight. Adding more carbs and restricting fats is helping me gain weight. I never would have imagined that all the cheese I was piling on my pasta was keeping me from gaining weight.

  33. I find this article very interesting and so true. My whole life I have been naturally thin and have never really thought about what I ate – not to say I ate unhealthy all the time but just ate when I was hungry. I ran track and cross country in high school and college so was very active. I was never obsessed with my diet. I mean don’t get me wrong – I do have my favorite foods but they don’t consume me.

    It wasn’t until I got until the real world (post college) where I experienced co-workers constantly comment on how thin I was and really obsess on what I was eating each day and ask what diet I was on. To say the least I found it very rude that people could comment on my weight and what I ate bc I was thin! I will say I have never had to deal with a weight problem so I have no idea how hard that might be. But I will say – the people trying to lose weight are constantly consumed with food and everything they eat to the point that that’s all they talk about. I could care less what my coworkers ate – I don’t have the time to analyze what everyone eats each day. Lol.

    I have had 2 babies and gained about 40 lbs with each pregnancy and never had an issue losing it – which again everyone wanted to talk about. I think I was able to lose the weight bc I wasn’t obsessed with losing weight/exercised / BF and tried to eat as healthy as I could. Nothing that grand or a trendy diet. Lol

    I completely agree that your mindset has a lot to do with your weight but not all the time.

    Lastly- I honestly hate how so many people openly comment on thin people! Whether you are thin/average/overweight or whatever – no one appreciates being singled out and commented on about there weight. I say that because as a thin person I have had so many comments from people on my figure that honestly I don’t care to hear. Just because someone is thin doesn’t mean they are happy with their self image. Everyone has there struggles so let’s try to not compare ourselves to one another constantly or comment on others.

    1. Thank you so much for the comment–So interesting to hear from “naturally thin” people. I appreciate your story! And yes, I agree with your note at the end. We should all be more sensitive. Much aloha to you and thank you again for taking the time to comment!

  34. I don’t agree with this article at all. I’m extremely thin and always have been. But! I’m Italian and food. Is. life. However, I’m also a very active person. I enjoy walking everywhere and I walk anywhere from 4-10 miles a day just working and doing my daily errands. (I also live and work in a major city so I’m sure that helps) I like to call it being “European active” because I don’t traditionally work out. I am in my late twenties and I eat anywhere from 2000-3000 calories a day. I EAT A LOT. Lol Anyway, I constantly get body shamed at work and basically everywhere I go so be mindful that just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt my feelings or that I don’t have insecurities. Trust me, men are not more attracted to me because I’m skinny and I can’t fit normal adult clothes. Im actually teaching myself to sew because clothes have become such an issue. I’d kill for more curves, but it’s just not how I’m made.

    1. Yes Tiffany, there are exceptions (I’m clear about that in my book! :)) If you haven’t, you might should have a doctor check your hormones levels (especially the thyroid hormones) as eating that many calories and not fitting into adults clothes could certainly be a sign of a medical issue. Walking that much would also play a role, but in general you do not fit the norm. I think the post you read is for the great majority of women but obviously not everyone. 🙂 Much aloha-

      1. I have been tested for all thyroid issues and I have none. I am just skinny and also active and I eat a lot but I don’t eat three meals a day. I eat constant small meals. Which is most likely part of the reason why my metabolism is so fast.

        I would also like to add that clothes do not fit me because I am very petite but also because sizing regulations do not exist anymore. Not to mention that the size of clothes has almost tripled since the 50s. Marilyn Monroe would be a size 4 in today’s equivalent. She had a 24 inch waist. I realize people struggle with weight problems in every capacity, but I’m not a magical unicorn that you need to figure out. I’m just thin. It’s a real thing.

        1. You don’t have a fast metabolism and your frequent small meals are adding up to as much as you think, calories in vs. calories out is what matters. I’m willing to bet the farm you don’t count calories, you’ve already admitted you’re very active and that you eat small meals so that’s why you’ve always been thin. You eat enough to fuel your body without gaining weight.
          Meal frequency has nothing to do with Thermodynamics, fact is you could eat one meal a day and gain or lose weight based on how much you eat. I eat 3 meals a day and I’ve been losing weight because I watch my calories. Simple physics.

  35. Sooooo true!!! I was a lot thinner than I am now and I realized one thing when I was thinner I didn’t eat a lot in fact I didn’t even think about food much I usually ate just once a day and kept myself busy with walking or reading I’ve gained about twenty pounds I was 120 now I’m 140 so I’m not over weight but I’d love to go back to how I was I could often go hours sometimes even a day or two without eating (drinking lots of fluids) and I was just fine I was very healthy and at a spectacular weight you are definitely right with this

    1. Thank you for commenting, Raphael! I love to hear different people’s stories and yours is so good. I hope you can get my book and find more support there. I believe you can be back to your previous weight…(Though only eating once a day sounds hard to me, you find what works for you! :)) Aloha and blessings-

  36. Anonymous says:

    This is so wrong. I’m skinny but I really really love food :))) I eat a wholeeeee lot and it just doesn’t do anything lol.

    1. I’m guessing you are one of the “exceptions.” You have unusually high metabolism, or your thyroid has higher than normal activity…But regardless, ENJOY! 🙂 PS I don’t know if you’re a man or woman or your age, but that all plays into things too! Thanks for reading and commenting anyways!

      1. I have a skinny friend who thinks she eats a lot, but having spent whole days with her, she eats a lot in one sitting then she won’t eat again until she is starving, and if she gets home from work tired she just goes to bed instead of eating dinner. She isn’t doing it on purpose and she genuinely thinks she has a speedy metabolism.

        Not to disparage the skinny girl, but in my experience the girls who don’t have to work at being thin often don’t realize that it isn’t their metabolism and that it is their habits that keep them slim. Case in point my friend did something I have never seen her do when she got pregnant. She gained weight!

        1. so interesting!! I love that you observed her and figured all of that out. Very good. (and I’ve seen some of my “naturally skinny friends do the same in pregnancy–kinda fun, right? :)) Aloha, thank you for commenting!

  37. Mallarie Toms says:

    This describes me perfectly. While in high school and part of college I OBSESSED about food, calories, working out, etc. I am 5’4 and weighed145. I didn’t look fat just thick bc I would eat a lot then exercise a ton so had a ton of muscle and fat. Before I got married while still in college I didn’t have time to think and obsess about food anymore bc I had to plan a wedding and do school! So the weight started falling off and everyone would ask”what are you doing”? I was like I really don’t know. Well after I got married I was motivated bc I had lost the weight that I didn’t start obsessing again plus I was in nursing school and taught aerobics which I had been teaching forever and never lost weight. I kept losing weight! I got to 125 and I couldn’t remember a time ever that I was that. Then after I delivered my first child I was in grad school, breastfeeding, and had gained 20 extra pounds from pregnancy so reverted back to my old thinking and obsessing about food. Like I ask what’s for lunch when breakfast just ended 😳. Hoping to get back to my previous ways of thinking thin! Loved your post.

    1. Thank you Mallarie! This is so interesting, I am so happy you shared. Great example of the difference our mindset makes! I am confident you will get back to the old way of thinking. Please keep me posted! 😉 Much aloha-

  38. Megan Riley says:

    This is so true. I am one of those people, 5’5 and 100-105 lbs. i never gave any thought to what I ate, had fast food for lunch most days and for dinner would just snack if I was hungry. Never planned a meal, all the food in my kitchen was convenience food ; mac&cheese, canned food, cheese& crackers. A few months back I started dating a food obsessed person who always ate every meal, so I started just eating those meals with him. I gained 10 lbs in 4 weeks! The food was actually healthier than what I was eating before, But I was eating when I wasn’t really hungry. I’ve started to not eat meals with him anymore and bam the weight Is coming off I’m back at 106 right now. It’s about how much you eat, not what you eat. You’ll also notice that as you start eating less food your stomach will get smaller therefore causing you to fill up quicker, which also works the other way if you over eat.

    1. Megan–wow! What an interesting story! I am so glad you took the time to share! Love hearing that and find it super interesting. It would probably be ideal (for health and all) to add a bit of your boyfriend’s healthy foods to your already-skinny-portioned eating… But either way, glad you shared! Much aloha!

  39. I totally agree with this! I actually once read an article for my psychology class about how America is becoming obese because of the impact the Great Depression had. Food was scarce and people began eating as much as possible in case they couldn’t afford food later. The article claimed that this behavior has passed down generations through how our grandparents fed our parents and how our parents now feed us, and how we’ll feed our kids. It also explains why our friends who are from old money are naturally skinny people, usually, and poorer people are not. And now the fast food industry is skyrocketing because it’s cheap, filling, easy to come by, and fulfills all of that instinctual worry of not getting to eat later.

    I believe if you can get past this “societal instinct” that’s been engraved in your mind, you could lose a LOT of weight!

    1. Julia, Wow–that is fascinating and makes perfect sense! Thanks of sharing. 🙂 I’ll be pondering that concept for a while I think!! Much aloha-

  40. When I hit 206 and was obese I decided to say (forget) losing weight and just take my body how it is and 60 lbs fell right off before i could even weigh myself to see that I was losing weight.

    1. That’s phenomenal! I’m at this point too. Like ok I’ve been dieting most of my life and just getting fat. So why not try something radically different and love my body for once and trust that it knows what I need!

  41. Bzbmamaof3 says:

    I am the exception to every rule!! I obsess about food! I can feel my body begin to shut down after 2 hours of no food. I have to carry snacks. I always worry about when and where I’m going to be, so I can plan on eating. I eat a lot of junk. I try to make sure I still get some healthy foods. I don’t like to share! I’ll hide and eat! And I don’t like exercise.

    I am a 33yo mother of 3. 6′ and can’t push over 130lbs (on a good day). I am always shaky and hungry. I wake up every morning sick from “starvation” no matter how much I eat prior.

    1. Wondering if you’ve seen a doctor about this? Sounds like it could be a medical issue–thyroid out of balance perhaps? This doesn’t sound like something you should just live with–I’m so sorry. Yes, you are not the person I describe in my book at all…:) But please do take care of yourself and see a doctor. much aloha–

  42. This is so true….the first time i met this naturally skinny friend., I saw her eat a full size plate with regular servings of everything i was avoiding.😡. I felt so jealous. We became close friends and then sometimes we would spend an afternoon together and U came to the same conclusion from this post. skinny people dont suffer about what they eat but they do take care of themselves and overall watch what they eat. They might do one big lunch or dinner but they will probably not eat the rest of the day or they will have healthy snacks instead of full meals….. Everything is in the mind and the attitude towards food!

    1. Yep, you nailed it Elenita! Isn’t it interesting, and yet somehow easy to miss these truths! Love your story and thanks for taking the time to share it! With Aloha-

  43. I wrote a blog about this! I put a link to this page in it. The crazy thin f is, I didn’t even read your post before I read it and our content is he same! Just goes to show that this is the truth!!

    1. Awesome Skyler! Thank you so much for commenting and for mentioning me in your post! It is a great topic and once you have it figured out it is just something you want to tell everyone, right? (kind of like our faith! :)) Much aloha to you and keep it up!

  44. I just want to say this made me feel a whole lot better about my situation. I’m tired of people telling me they think I’m anorexic or too thin. I know I don’t have an eating disorder. I’m not concerned with if I’ll get fat from eating something in particular. And like you said I don’t quite eat always healthy by any means. But I don’t eat all day long. I eat when I’m hungry which could be 6 times a day or 1 . I gained 45 pounds at one point due to a couple circumstances and it took me 6 months of consistent calorie counting to lose it (I had to make myself eat the calories I am “supposed” to eat to kick my body in gear) but that was 2 years ago and here I am back to “naturally thin” , thinner than I tried to be when losing weight actually and I found this while searching for answers thinking maybe I do have some unknown eating disorder. Lol thanks for this I feel like I am ok I am just one of the friends you talked about. 👍

  45. Thank you! Please let us know when youre ebook’s published! Ill be more tha n happy to read it!

  46. I totally agree! My mom is one of those “naturally thin” persons and she taught me the same principles to be “naturally thin,” too. We have always ate what we want…but we know that we like being thin more than food, so we don’t want to over eat. I eat treats, but not everyday or too much, like one piece of cake or 2 cookies. She taught me to find how much I can eat to maintain my weight, then when I indulge, I eat lighter or healthier the next day or so. The hardest times are during the holidays and when it’s cold outside, because I want comfort food when I’m cold. So, I have committed to stricter January through March diets, like salads for lunch and no starch before dinner, nothing too strict, just more aware and careful. This mind set keeps me within my preferred weight range and I don’t even exercise on a regular basis. When I do exercise, which I love, not only for the good feeling it provides, but all the added benefits. Exercising, I have noticed, changes my cravings. Since, I have the good feeling hormones working from working out my body isn’t craving starches and sugar. Also, when I am working out regularly, I have, somewhat of a credit, so I can loosen slightly on my diet or not have as many salad days.

  47. Monica, I love all of your articles. You are such a thoughtful writer, always going a level deeper then most articles I read! As a stay at home mom, some days I find myself so bored and lonely. Its not that I don’t have plenty to do, it’s just that sometimes those tasks feel so utterly mundane, and it’s not uncommon to go 4 or 5 days without seeing my friends. I have found that food becomes a go to for a joyful little pick me up throughout the day, and if it’s particularly stressful it’s chocolate! After my third baby a year ago I had to acknowledge this was my new pattern and decide if that was the path I wanted to stay on. Although there are other important contributing factors, I also believe the way one “thinks” about and relates to food plays the biggest role in getting to a healthy weight and staying there.

  48. I am very excited to read your ebook!

    1. Thank you for commenting on my “Naturally Skinny” post. Ebook is in the works! Hoping to launch it in July!! 🙂 Keep in touch–

  49. Hi Monica! I would LOVE to hear your thoughts in the E-book you mentioned above! The theory you presented about “thinking thin” is SO TRUE because I myself was once thin and felt fantastic! I never found myself obsessing over food whatsoever.
    Now however? I am overweight and have been stuck here for 10 years! No fun.
    Maybe I’ll try this “think thin thoughts” (trying saying THAT 3 times fast, lol) and see how it goes this week! Great tip 🙂


    Ps–I just recently stumbled upon you and I love what I have read from you thus far! So positive and very encouraging 🙂

    1. Erica–Thank you so much. I really hope you have the courage to try changing your thinking and finding success that way! I believe you can do it!
      Thank you for the encouraging words! Aloha

  50. Hi Monica,
    You hit the nail on the head!!! This post was me in a nut shell….I’m that tiny person everyone hates, although at 50, I’m not as religious about fitness as I use to be. I am 4’11” 100 lbs give or take and for the most part have always been thin, able to eat pretty much what I want. I believe in balance, but don’t deny mysekf a cupcake here and there! As a nurse and former fitness instructor for over 18 years, I have seen it all as you mentioned. Now I just have to get back in to my exercise routine to stay strong as I get older. Thanks for the great post!!

    1. Awesome! I love to hear stories like yours! 🙂 Thank you for sharing. Keep it up–what an inspiration you are!

  51. I’d be interested in reading the book. I know I do need to change my thoughts more than my actual behaviors. I’m not obsessed with food at all and in fact, eat relatively little. I don’t excercise much but I do a little every day, but the weight doesn’t come off. I think I need to BELIEVE that what works for others WILL work for me. Maybe your Ebook will help with that.

  52. Jill Back says:

    Hi there
    As a Clinical Psychologist some of the work I do is with Eating Disorders and Parenting Groups…
    Really good info and very easy put into practice, Thank you!

  53. Melissa Youngman says:

    I used to be naturally skinny, but didn’t totally fit the profile. At almost 5’7″ and 115# I ate a lot. *A Lot*. A home ec friend pegged me at 4000+ calories a day. I thought about food a lot because I got hungry a lot (and money was tight). And I’d get grumpy when I was hungry! I miss being able to eat a lot, although I don’t think I’d have time to prepare that much food any more 😉

    1. Melissa–Sounds like you are/were a (lucky!) exception to the rule. I’m curious though when you say “used to be…” does that mean things have changed, and if so what?
      You were probably growing a lot back then (you mention home ec., assuming you were in school?) Regardless, it is a bummer that our metabolism slows down as we get older…but it does.
      Thanks for sharing your story anyways! aloha

      1. Melissa Youngman says:

        Yes, just a lucky young person! I had the usual “bumps” in metabolism, settling in at 130 for most of my 20’s & 30’s. A slight weight gain after marraige came off easily. My weight changed during (of course) and subsequent to pregnancy. I was pregnant with twins at 39, and delivered at the end of my 2nd trimester. I’ve stayed around 168 since then. I did embark on eating habit changes which resulted in dropping 12# over 2 years; then gained that all back in about a year under very stressful life events. I’m currently actually putting the effort in, both in eating and exercise, to bring my weight and fasting blood sugar levels down.

        1. Melissa Youngman says:

          I was at 115# though, until about 23 or 24 years old!

  54. Erin Harvey says:

    Yes! I would like to read the ebook!

  55. Exactly what Dominique said! It all starts in what the mind is willing to think and believe. I’m looking forward to your book!

  56. Andrea Herzog says:

    Yes, I would read your ebook! I found your blog through a friend about a month ago and I am really enjoying it. I have two active boys 11 and 14. I love how always glow with health in your photos :).

  57. Amen to that! Think / behave / live like the person you WANT to become, and eventually you’ll BE that person. There’s a reason God tells us to keep a reign on our thoughts…they’re powerful!

  58. Oh…. I would LOVE to quit worrying about losing 10 pounds. I am obsessed over it and I try not to be – but it is exhausting. I definitely need to change how I think. I know I do – I just don’t know how. My husband loves me, tells me I am beautiful just the way I am – I am the one with the image issue and I would love to break this cycle and not pass it onto my daughter! Thank you so much – looking forward to reading your e-book. God Bless….

  59. I have always been normal to thin…..until I had my children and turned 40+. I tried a diet plan, which was a good one, but seemed to be fixated on food the WHOLE ALL DAY LONG. I did lose some weight, but was overwhelmed. Went off the counting food and points and the weight came off naturally. So relate to what you are saying…….can’t wait to hear more!!!!

  60. Teddi Hester says:

    You could comment on the opposite problem of feeling fat even if you’re not. I was a fat little kid, and in my high school and college years, and thereafter, I was really thin, but felt fat. (And no, I was not anorexic! I wasn’t that thin!) Now that I’m old, I could lose a few pounds, but am not fat. I don’t worry about it anymore, I feel good, am healthy, get some exercise, and most importantly, I’m happy! Took a long time, wish I’d believed how thin I was. When the kids grow up and you don’t have to make cookies, etc. anymore, it’s pretty easy with no temptations around. Put one in front of me, I’ll still gladly eat it, and ENJOY it!! That’s the best part.

  61. I would LOVE to read your ebook. I have been overweight for most of my life and really think it is due to a number of things…. 1. I don’t eat until dinner….only water all day long because I am afraid I am going to gain weight. 2. I know I have a hormonal imbalance 3. I take care of everyone else before myself leaving very little time for exercise. Thank you so much for your posts. I love to read them and it is helping me to gain some tips to go along with the knowledge I already have. Just recently I have started eating a healthy breakfast, a small lunch, and a dinner. I have been trying to eat only fruits, veggies, protein, and very little healthy grains. I cut out diet pop and stopped drinking caffeine. I am basically down to water flavored with mint or fruits/cucumbers. I have adopted this lifestyle….not diet! I am hoping that the weight will start to fall off again. I had lost quite a bit of weight and then I plateaued and it has been hard to lose additional weight. Good luck to you all…it is such a struggle I just don’t want to be overweight my entire life.

  62. Keli Davenport says:

    I was very thin in my 30’s and had this mentality. Rarely thinking of food and even forgetting to eat. Busy. Then in my 40’s I started the eat every 2 hrs, diet. Small snacks and portions. Until I realized I may have low blood sugar, then it became a part of my life as I could feel the low coming with headache and dizziness, along with irritability. Then the change happened. Uggg My skin changed, my hair changed AND my body definitely changed. I eat super healthy, but have found it challenging to stay on any exercise regimen. I am stuck and I need a one on one coach to pull me out at this point. Who can afford that? Soooo looking forward to following the posts and praying for God to be that one on one to bring me out of this.

  63. Mary Schlesinger says:

    Yes do the ebook, I gave up a few things on my main menu like sugar, salt and soda, fried foods. I stop eating heavy meals late at night (after 8 pm), started walking more and drinking plenty of water. No longer keep sweats in my home, the will power to say no to certain foods was hard at first. I tell myself everyday I can do this eating healthy is the best decision I’ve ever made. Dropping inches and pounds feeling fantastic. Thanks Monica for sharing, continue to be a Blessing to us all.

  64. I have just recently discovered your website and am really enjoying it! Thank you for sharing your experiences! I am also the mother of 4 very active boys and find I either don’t eat or seem to eat what’s left over on their plates as I’m clearing the dishes or emptying their lunches! I would love to read your e-book and hopefully “think myself skinny!”

  65. Can I preorder the ebook? Seriously, I appreciate you mentioning patience. I have an issue with wanting quick, consistent results-or I quit whatever program I am following. I need to learn that if I change my mind and focus on healthy choices, my body will eventually change,too. Easier said than done. I would appreciate reading about how you made this transformation. I have often wondered what I would do with the time and mental energy I could reclaim if I stopped obsessing over food, diets, exercise, etc.

  66. Can’t wait for the ebook! This is right up my alley!
    I think about food all the flippin time!
    “What are the kids gonna eat for breakfast? Oh, now they need a snack!? Sheesh is it lunch already!? Holy moly did I send my kid to school with a lunch!? Crap! What the heck are we gonna have for dinner!?”
    Yeah, finding out how not to think about food with all this in my head would be uber helpful for me!
    I’m a short time reader of your blog. I have enjoyed your writings! It’s nice to know there are others who think the same as I do, at least on the parenting side.

  67. Becky Hamrick says:

    I would definitely read it. 🙂 And I have noticed this trend you talk about in your article. When I feel fit, or think of myself as an athlete, I FOR SURE feel better about myself and make better food choices in general. What I want to know is how to keep that feeling. 😉 Thanks so much for your time and thoughts, and I look forward to that ebook! 😀

  68. I’d buy that ebook the second it came out. Our “healthy workplace” group might be interested too.

  69. Emily Puckett says:

    Yes, I would love to read your ebook!! Thank you for this post and the other on this subject. Miss you guys greatly.

  70. I agree completely! The times in my life I felt the best was when I thought myself as an athlete or as thin. I’m in process of breaking up with food as a relationship. Diagnosed with celiac. Right now I feel better hungry than after I eat! I would read the book!

    1. I agree, at least for people in their mid-thirties and beyond.

      I was truly “naturally thin” until I was in my mid- to late-thirties. I’m a 5’7” female, and all through childhood, my teen years, and my young adult years, I could honestly eat whatever-whenever, and remained between 125-140… I still looked super thin at 140, I guess because of my bone structure. Now, I am 43 years old and weigh 154 lbs, despite actually eating LESS and exercising MORE than I ever have in my life. I have never weighed in the 150’s, except during my three pregnancies. I’ll be honest: I am frustrated to be 154, and I think a lot of this frustration is because I spent decades never having to think about it. I don’t know why I’m 154, except age is catching up with me, and therefore slower metabolism and all that comes with being middle-aged.

      I have noticed many of my peers who are close to my age are experiencing more and more rollercoaster rides with their weights too. Friends whom I’ve known since high school suddenly have a totally different “shape” although they may not weigh much more than they did in high school. Other ladies go from a size 6 to 12 and back again… the never-ending hardship of middle-aged weight and womanhood. The struggle is so real.

      However— There is ONE woman who is four years older than me whose body still looks like a teenager. She’s about 5’6” and around 125. I wondered for a while what her secret is, as I found it interesting that all three of her kids are chubby. Well, I ended up being at a poolside BBQ with this lady and noticed that she never ate anything. The other ladies enjoyed a burger and a handful of chips; however this lady never had anything but bottled water. I knew then: She is not “naturally skinny” and in fact, it’s probably a fact that she was, at one point, chubby like all of her children and has to work very hard at being super thin. It’s quite possible that this is a major struggle in her life— staying tiny.

      Other than that one lady who never eats, I and the rest of my middle-aged lady friends look “normal”… sometimes losing and sometimes re-gaining weight… but never, ever looking like we did in our teens and twenties. Sometimes I think it’s a balancing act of accepting your age and all that comes with it, at least to some degree, because I have never seen an elderly lady looking like a beach model. So it’s a losing battle (not to sound negative and not to suggest “giving up” or “letting oneself go” by any means).

      I try hard to eat within reason, but I feel sure than my original average weight of around 136-ish will never “really” be a reality again without being constantly hungry and quite frankly, unhappy. So, I am trying to make better choices in general to at least keep myself under 150 lbs. The main thing that has worked for me so far is not eating after 6pm, and letting go of most sweets and chips, etc… I only eat high-quality sweets on occasion (to make the calories count, lol), and I only eat chips if they are the occasional corn chips at a good Mexican restaurant. Also, I do not keep junk foods in my home at all. Still, I struggle to get under 150. My bloodwork and thyroid levels are normal, and I am not depressed.

      Anyway, some people still ask me how I “stay so thin”… and I wonder how they can say that, as I am aware I’m actually 26 lbs heavier than the day I got married… I look at the teen girls that my boys hang out with and for the most part, they’re all extremely tiny. I wonder sometimes what they’ll look like in their mid-forties after multiple pregnancies and the stresses of life… because I used to be that skinny little gal myself! :)))

  71. Really loved reading this and found it so interesting and really believe you are on to something and i would love to hear more. 🙂

  72. Hey Monica,
    Great post! It is so true about how it’s all to do with the thinking.
    I’d also love to read your ebook, looking forward to it coming out and hearing more about this stuff 🙂

  73. ha ha, ya, I’m not too focused on it, UNLESS there happens to be chocolate in my cupboard, in which case it literally BELLOWS my name until I come eat it. I see it as “fuel” for my run, though… win/win.

    Ya, maybe a book-book would be good… have you seen the Apple parody that Ikea did of a “book-book”? Here’s a link if not: https://www.marketingmag.com.au/news/its-not-an-ebook-its-a-bookbook-ikea-parodies-apple-in-ad-for-new-catalogue-56419/#.VA6CmUi_XYw

    Although, I’m also trying to cut back on “stuff” in my house, including books, so not sure. Maybe, for you, I will make an exception. Free shipping to Oz?

  74. Love this post… soooo true. It’s hard NOT to think of food all the time, though… it seems like it’s so in your face all the time- on signs, in magazines, on TV, and most of all: people talking about their issues with food. You just can’t escape it.

    I have noticed, though, that since having a baby I’m soooo busy that food isn’t as much of a focus for me anymore… sure, eating healthy is, but not just plain thinking about food and eating. Does that make sense?

    Soooo…. have a baby to solve all your food-related problems? 😉 Maybe not, but it’s working over here. 😉

    Looking forward to more dynamite posts, Monica… keep ’em coming.

    Oh, and I’d love to read your e-book, but I’m on my computer too much as it is, so not sure if I would. Just being honest.

    1. Thank you Corinna! I’ve had a similar experience to you–I think it all got easier after kids just because of the busy-ness. And you are right–food and commercials and all of that are all around us, but it’s interesting that if we aren’t focused on them, it can pretty easily become background (at least for me it has….Until I’m really actually hungry! :))

      Thanks again, and maybe what you’re saying is I should write a real book, not an ebook? 🙂
      (Though an ebook would literally be just an extra long blog post–so I bet you could even handle reading it! :))

      1. Faith Christopher says:

        Since when I was a 13, I used to feel fat. Usually because some people say I looked huge. I mistook their statements for large bone structure. Plus I usually ate a lot of food even when I was very full. But I never knew that I was underweight. But at 16 when I gained a few pounds my classmates usually said that i looked “fat” Yes, my neck, hips, cheeks, legs and hands seemed to have added some weight. And my uniform was tight for me. But now that I’m 17 and almost 18, I checked my BMI, I was suprised to find out that I was “Severerly underweight” I’m 6ft at 60kg, but my weight isn’t stable. It drops, but it doesn’t exceeds 60kg. I know that I don’t eat or concentrate on food like before, but seriously I eat alot. I don’t understand why I’m severely underweight. Plus when my weight adds, people usually say I’m fat because of my how big my arms, cheeks and body looks. But I calculated my BMI and I’m still “Severely underweight” My BMI is 15. Please why do I look fat to people even when I’m severely underweight? Plus, I don’t know why I can’t skip meals for days without getting sick, fatigue, weak and a faint feeling. I remembered starting college for the first time, but in that particular college the students don’t eat in the mornings and eat very little due to their busy schedules. My body couldn’t cope because I hardly skip morning meals or eat less on frequent occasions. My weight dropped and my BMI was 14. I felt frequent back pains and brain fogs. Please my questions are:

        1. Why do I gain and lose weight easily?

        2. Why do I get sick when I eat less or skip meals for a few days?

        3. Even when I eat alot like crazy, why I’m I still severely underweight?

        4. Please why do I look fat, but my BMI is 15?

        1. Hi Faith! Sorry these things can be confusing…You might be wise to see a certified nutritionist to help you sort through things. If you are eating healthy and exercising and feel good that is the most important thing. I would try not to get too caught up in BMI or anything else. These are all just numbers and like you said, so much depends on your height and build and so on. I always encourage people to stay focused on things that really matter– your heart, your faith, your relationship with God. My book (The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny Friends) may help you so I hope you can check it out> But if you are frustrated with weight issues I do think a doctor or nutritionist is a good idea! 😉 All the best to you–

        2. Eph. 5:16,20 says:

          Consider which BMI calculator you use? The US’s calculator says 6 ft. and 132 lb. is a BMI of 17.9 at:
          Of course: >What>Depending on _what time of day_ you do it!<>course<< what Monica said about seeking an expert is even _more important_! You probably know that they'll help find out what of those things I said are/aren't affecting you, any problems you might have, like diabetes (hopefully none, though 🙂 ); and exactly what to _do_ about them.