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  1. I loved this. Thank you

  2. I have also found that remembering my husband’s love language and deliberately speaking in that language (even though it is not my own and sometimes feels like a lot of effort) is also a good bridge builder.
    Thank you for the encouraging reminder that our marriages and our husbands are worth it. I love the question you posed at the end, ‘how does a strong, wise, beautiful woman respond?’

  3. I adore this post, Monica. I recently discovered your blog via MOB on Facebook. We have two toddler boys (4 and soon to be 3). I am refreshed by your offerings here and this post is such a sweet motivator to love on my thoughtful, generous, God-pursuing hubby and a reminder to not hyper focus on our little blessings (as needy as they may be). Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank you Tricia! So glad you hopped over here and thank you for the encouraging words! 🙂 Yes, keeping priority and perspective is not always easy, but very much a worthwhile effort. Aloha to you–

  4. monica… you never cease to amaze me…honestly. This is some of THEBEST advise I’ve ever heard.
    i cry when i read your posts.. your truly gifted at this.

  5. I like this and I completely agree with it. A marriage should be 100/100 always. Realistically though, folks have their ups and downs. A spouse should be willing to pick up the slack when the other is down…that is team work. However, I find it extremely difficult to ALWAYS be the one to do these things…to always pick up the slack. I have a hard time making excuses for the other party. If I, in my hardest of hard times can still give, then why can’t he?

  6. Thanks for this! It was a great reminder, it was actually just last night that everything came to its breaking point between my husband and I. 2 years into marriage and it already feels like its falling apart.Hoping these tips help!

    1. So sorry Katie. Our first years were definitely our hardest. There must be a commitment to working things out. No question of a way out. And yes, humbly being the first to reach out will be one step in the right direction. Hang int here and do not give up! aloha-

  7. Elizabeth says:

    Thanks for sharing this. You are so wise!

  8. Dear Monica,
    Thank you so very much for this post. It came at the perfect time and I am going to try all 5 things. I do want to be strong

    1. Awesome Melissa, thank you for commenting! You be strong, do your part to make connections, and I am sure that the blessings will flow! 🙂 XO

      1. That is what I am hoping for. I have faith in God’s plan. Thank you.

  9. Excellent advice!!!thank you so much Monica. In my heart you and Dr. Swanson is a perfect couple. And you are nutrious every day..

  10. Thank you!! May God bless you for your posts. I follow you constantly as my husband is a provider and we have two little boys. I feel God brought you just for me at times!!! Blessings!!!

  11. Once again you’ve spoken straight to me! My family is going through a lot right now which is not uncommon, I’m pretty sick a lot of the time and things always seem to hit while I’m down. My husband ALWAYS carries us all, and he does it so well and so quietly that it became easy to expect it. It’s easy to forget that he is at least as “worn and weary” as I am – more so, no doubt. I know the point of this post was far more than the one tiny sentence that hit me the hardest, but I really needed to hear (read!) it. I can work at some of your suggestions (not all, I am pretty sick) but hopefully it will make his burden a little easier to bear when he sees me making an effort to show him how much I love and appreciate him.

  12. Wow! This was a good one and exactly what was on my heart yesterday! I was just thinking about how much I miss time for romantic moments with my husband. Now I will be the one to start. Thank you for that nudge in the right direction. Summer has been a bit exhausting with 4 little boys, and I even homeschool! I mean, why would summer be different? But I guess not having the structure of school makes them extra rowdy. I’ve been craving some feelings of the old times, when I would get dressed up for a date, and feel feminine and beautiful. Now I just feel like the snack giver and meal maker. I’m going to start reclaiming the strong, feminine, wise and beautiful mama that I am!

  13. This is exactly what I needed to read right now. I’m married to a strong/silent type guy & it feels lonely most of the time. I need to initiate more! <3
    Thanks for the reminder!!

  14. You are so right,even at 70 that works.

    1. Bidda! So sweet–I love that, and hope that other people take that comment to heart! 🙂 Thanks so much. Much aloha, and hope that foot is recovering quickly~

  15. I’ve found these last couple of posts on marriage/parenting really thought provoking and super helpful. Thanks for taking the time to post on these topics- really appreciate it.

  16. This is a great post, exactly what I needed to read right now! Thanks!

  17. Great post and much needed! Being caught up in being a mom and trying to figure out how to balance life is hard, and sometimes I forget to focus on my husband. This was a great reminder:)

  18. This is soooo good. It’s crazy how fast a little distance can grow between work and kids and life in general. I must be more intentional to bridge the gap. Thank you for the tips 🙂

  19. Thanks Monica, I really like the ending about the woman that I want to be. This is just what I needed to hear this morning 🙂

    1. Thank you Emily! Funny, I just added that at the end, but it just jumped in there and I decided to keep it. So glad it encouraged you. Bless you far away friend!!

  20. I know this post wasn’t really targetted at people like me, but here are my thoughts:

    Firstly, I definitely can’t imagine Dave doing that thing on the street corner! 🙂

    And secondly, if only more women would just listen to number 4 and watch an action movie with their bloke once in a while… 🙂


    1. Yes Greg, I actually always think of “blokes” like you when I write a post…I think there was something in there for you too–just tuck it away! 🙂 Aloha!