Come on Home
You know what’s really special? When one of your favorite authors is truly one of your favorite friends! My friend, Jessica Smartt, writes in a style that just gets me. Or I get her. I don’t know — but I love all of her books. And her most recent, COME ON HOME, may be my very favorite. Enjoy this honest, funny, heart-warming excerpt — then enter to win a copy below!
An excerpt from Come On Home, by Jessica Smartt
The last time we were at a concert of our favorite singer, Andrew Peterson, he said, “Now I’m going to play you a song I wrote for my wife.” That piqued my interest. He rarely mentions his wife in his songs, so I thought, “Wow! I can’t wait to hear this. I wonder what sort of love song this will be.” I was a little bummed to realize the name of the song was “Planting Trees.” This is not a great start, I thought. Is there anything more un-sexy than tree-planting? Planting anything is the worst. It looks good in Magnolia Magazine but when you (and not Joanna Gaines) are the one out there getting ridiculously hot and sticky and dirty, trying to hack away at ground that is suddenly the density of a bowling ball, you realize what God meant when he told Adam the ground was cursed. Thanks, Adam.
Last summer my husband and I got in an argument about what size hole one should dig to plant a tomato seedling. Hot tip for wives: if your husband works in the landscaping business, he does not like it when you “ask him questions” about the size of the hole he dug for a tomato plant. Tuck that one away. The point is, apparently the size of a hole needed for a minuscule tomato plant is way bigger than you thought it needed to be. Even with that expert hole-digging, our tomato plants were a grave disappointment, and the cucumbers so bitter even the chickens wouldn’t eat them. This year we paid the professionals and ordered from our local CSA. Frankly, I have lost patience with gardening. You plant something, go to all that work, and *maybe* you get a good crop? Maybe you don’t! You just have to wait and hope.
And then to plant a tree! My, you won’t see the fruit of all that work for years! In fact, depending on your age, and the tree’s age, and the conditions of the weather and soil and other Landscapery Things, it may actually be your kids, or your grandkids, or the people who buy your house later who finally get to eat good peach cobbler. What I am saying is that you spend all this time and sweat and money to plant something in the ground that you may never actually see the fruit of. To be honest with you, I’m shocked there are so many trees in the world.
Back to Andrew Peterson’s wife. The more I thought about it, I wonder if instead of being disappointed by a song written in her honor about digging holes and watching branches grow, perhaps she actually felt very seen.
Building a strong family, as evidently Andrew’s wife has learned, involves hard, painful, sweaty labor, all the while understanding that you might not be enjoying shade in that corner of the yard for a decade or more. What hope! What perspective! The reason I’m bad at gardening is the same reason I struggle with parenting: It is not natural for me to take the long view.
Taking the long view of things is essential for strong-family-building. Building a strong family involves taking your time and dumping it into things that, like gardening, aren’t fun, don’t give you immediate satisfaction but, we hope, might grow into something really, really beautiful. There are so many of these small tasks inherent in every day of being a good mother. I know you are already doing this. Do it more. Don’t give up.
One opportunity I have every day to lay down my time is what we call in our home “Morning Time.” This is a part of our homeschooling where we read a devotional, a history book, a science book, and a novel. In the circles of Really Wise Homeschooling Mothers, it is an accepted fact that Morning Time is about the best thing you can do in your homeschool. The thing you will look back and love more than anything. I am taking this fact by faith, because every, single, day I do not want to do morning time. I am never in the mood to do morning time. It feels like a waste. It is so long. An hour or more of my life when at least a hundred tasks are calling me. Where I sit in morning time, I have a direct view of the kitchen island which is undoubtedly scattered with Things I Want To Clean Up. Then there are emails, appointments, things to order, texts I want to write. I have to sit down, try really hard to ignore the noise, and what feels like “waste” an hour reading about Galileo, butterflies et al. This is an act of faith. I am believing that in twenty years, Little Women is going to do something, mean something.
I don’t know what this looks like in your home. Isn’t is it exciting that it can look so different for all of us? God knows us, knows our talents and what our families need. But don’t be afraid to take that time and spend it planting trees, literally or figuratively. I will tell you that I cannot think of a time that I personally, looking back, regret investing myself into my home and my family. I’ve never regretted spending an afternoon organizing a closet. I don’t look back and think, “I wish I hadn’t made that meal special.” I don’t regret one date night or vacation. I’ve stopped and started a lot of chore and behavior systems in my day, but I don’t regret trying…
SEE BELOW FOR GIVEAWAY!
Jessica Smartt is the author of Memory-Making Mom and Let Them Be Kids. She lives in sunny North Carolina on a family farm with horses, chickens, and an ever-increasing number of cats. She and her husband, Todd, have three kids whom they homeschool. She is passionate about energizing everyday moms to save childhood and build close-knit families. Jessica loves bike rides, spinach quiche, a clean kitchen, being warm, national parks, and food that anyone else made.
Grab a copy of Come on Home on Amazon and find out more about Jessica here!
ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF COME ON HOME by answering one- or more of the following questions: (Note; Giveaway for US Mailing addresses only!)
- What is an area of family building that you are so glad you have invested in over the long run? (or maybe one that your parents invested in while raising you!)
- What is an area of family building that you are invested in currently? Something you are doing faithfully that you hope will pay off later?
- (For fun!) If you’re into actual gardening — what are invested in growing in your garden this summer?
Leave your comment below and I’ll choose TWO WINNERS next Wednesday (May 20th!
Weekly Bible study & family discussion over it at dinner
Raising chickens with my three kids and practicing Sabbath weekly ! 🙂
1) I am so thankful that I took the time when my boys were younger to lay the foundation of structure and self discipline. teaching them to be proud of a job well done and to always strive to be better. it is very hard to teach this when they get to a certain age.
2) We are currently working on eating at the dinner table together most nights. It is too easy to go our separate ways, to our separate spaces, to watch our separate shows.
3) I am just starting my gardening journey and have a wonderful herb garden going! I also want to start peppers this summer as well.
I would not say I have a green thumb but I’m doing better. Some times I am too tired to water all the plants but if I don’t, they’ll die. Just like my spiritual walk. If I don’t keep a practice of prayer, Bible reading and time with God, my spiritual practice will die.
I’m thankful my parents took me to church and I participated in church camps and Sunday school classes. I’m 44 and I can still remember Bible songs, stories and scripture that was planted way back.
we work on restoring an old house. I am totally invested in trying to grow watermellons in Northern MN!
We are currently also investing in Morning Time, or as we call it, Morning Basket, but the same concept Jessica described! some mornings I love it and other mornings I totally can relate to how Jessica feels in her above writing! it’s cultivating in me also the self discipline of slowing down and savoring that cozy time together as a family.❤️
We are currently investing in mealtimes as a family (and many times) devotions or Bible readings during that time. Praying that the conversations around the table and time in the Word makes many deposits into my kids character and faith growth.
Well you KNOW I love this!! :). And yes, it will pay off I am certain!
We are really intentional about having dinner together as a family and making our conversation fun with would you rather questions or conversation starters. This is something I pray builds our family little by little over the years so they see the importance of togetherness around the table.
I have recently sacrificed my income to be able to focus more of my time on homeschooling my boys. Homeschooling has been quite the challenge for me and by picking up a part time job helped me get out of the house more and gave me a break, but I’m now realizing God is calling me to be back in the home. To focus on raising my boys right, and not just running away from family/home responsibilities.
Amazing Amy. I am so proud of you!!
Love it so far! I can’t wait to read more!
Try 2 😂
1. Finding a filing system that everyone in the family can use & understand was a huge timesaver and brought down ,at least my, daily frustration levels. Freedom Filer made a huge difference for us! I am no longer the only master of the files & keeper of everything others think important.
2. Currently I’m investing in planning summer fun and options for everyone to get a chance to “pick your own family adventure”. There’s a website that keeps track of free or low cost things to do in our area. We have a “Get Out Pass” which gives us access to a variety of venues. Just visiting a couple pays for the annual pass.
Along with that is figuring out which chores to give out as regular chores over the summer and which ones can earn them bonus points or $.
3. We currently aren’t allowed to water outside so I’ve been coming up with ways to collect & reuse water from inside the home to water at least the trees & plants we care about outside of the home.
My answer for numbers 1 and 2, are Bible Study, just weekly and teaching my 4 boys about the next 2-3 verses, and HOPING that the seeds sprout, though some days it feels like gardening in the Sahara!
haha, that is so normal! And good job, it will pay off! 🙂
Being an avid gardener, the above resonates with me. I really understand when using a gardening metaphor 🌸
My husband and I were fortunate to be able to cut our work hours when we had our daughter. The financial hit was well worth it. When friends were buying vacation homes and boats, we were able to attend every field trip, music performance and athletic event.
Now that our daughter is an adult with a daughter of her own, it has been such a blessing doing life with them. We had beautiful quality family time when she was young and we still have it now. We live close enough that she comes by for a morning matcha on her way to work.
It’s so important to never get so busy making a living than we forget to make a life. 💖
Amen, I love this! Thank you for modeling all of that for the rest of us! 🙂
Hi Monica! I love reading your emails and following your suggestions from books to fashion! I hope I win! Here are my replies:
1. Area of family-building I am grateful for investing in is faith. My grown children all have faith path on which they are building now on their own, and I am happy my husband and I created the foundation of their faith.
2. I am currently investing in helping them stay faith-centered by asking them each week how I might pray for them. It has helped us have faith -centered conversation conversations about their lives.
3. This summer, I am investing in researching native (Minnesota!) perennials for more natural gardens to cover larger areas of our 2.5 acre yard! Like all of life, challenging, but fun!
Love all of that! Thank you! And good luck with the garden!! xo
we are focused on building good character with our kids…teaching Biblically grounded values like hard work. responsibilities (starting their own garden!), kindness, humility, etc.
1. I am glad I made it a priority for my children to be each others friends before anyone else.
2. Currently investing in building businesses as a family.
3. We are actual urban farmers and in our personal garden I am excited to have raspberries this year!
Oh man, I am so glad I am not the only one in the world who really truly can’t stand morning time. Ours only takes about 40 minutes and since it includes our morning devotions, I consider it indispensable, but trying to wrangle all my squirmy boys (ages 2-13) every weekday is exhausting. But, when I get the act together and make it happen every morning more or less on time, it inevitably helps the rest of the day run more smoothly. I hope and pray the long term benefits become evident someday!
Hello!
1.) My husband and I have invested in speaking kindly and respectfully to one another, and we are seeing that pay off already in my oldest, my 4 year old. He is kind and thoughtful.
2.) We are working on family dinners around the table every night without phones and TV. I’m hoping this leads to some seamless conversation and closeness when my kids are teenagers, because it will just be what we do; not a fight.
3.) I am a novice gardener! this will be my third year growing a garden. It seems like everyone’s least favorite veggie to grow, but I am looking forward to the Zucchini! My husband and I enjoy them oven-roasted or grilled (with a balsamic glaze for me!).
We have always prioritized traveling as a family… being in nature seeing God’s creation has kept our priorities straight. Last year with my breast cancer diagnosis at 34 years old, I was thankful we had those memories during a year of 6 surgeries, chemotherapy, and radiation. It was a rhythm we established and a year later, now that I’m no evidence of disease we have picked that habit back up. As I work through hormone therapy for 10 years, this is one thing that will continue to be a constant. The gift of memories as a family is invaluable. We pray each morning together as a family and do that wherever we are… it has set the tone for my boys as they go out into the world.
We have always had a vegetable garden. We are growing all kinds of organic vegetables and are seeing the fruit come as we prune and pour into those plants. We reference John 15:1-8.
#1) I was the oldest of three, so I believe that my parents tried very hard to be fair and honest with discipline, without showing anger, church on Sundays, and having everyone at the dinner table as often as possible.
#3) Tomatoes, we try every year to grow tomatoes with various results – some good years, some not. Learned a lot though, that tomatoes use up the nutrients in the soil and need them replenished. Sort of like children.
Gardening is something the kids and I do together. It has been all vegetables but I would like to invest in growing some flowers this year – just for something pretty!
Every Saturday morning, we cook a big breakfast and gather around the table to enjoy a slow, unhurried meal together. We take turns sharing our favorite part of the week (and why!). I write them all down and put them in a jar. On New Year’s day we read through them all. It is a great way to celebrate, instill gratitude, remember the good, and get to know one another better. Then, we all chip in to clean up the kitchen.
1) Spending time in nature together, but more so just delighting in Nature. My oldest son (10) came outside to sit with me this morning and we turned on our Merlin bird identifying app— and both enjoyed the sounds of our backyard birds. It is so rewarding to see my kids becoming aware of the beauty in God’s creation.
We have a cabin four hours away and have driven there very often over the years as a family. The rule was no screens for the first hour and it helped us talk to one another. We have become a RV family and driving is something we do together. We are headed on our 3rd trip to the West Coast this summer from our home in PA. Lots of family time to talk and connect as we drive.
Our family has always spent a lot of time together. And now as most of my kids are teens and preteen, they still enjoy just spending time altogether. It has always been my desire for them to love family time and they seem to. I’m so thankful! I want it to be lifelong.
1. Homeschooling. It has given more time with the kids than if I sent to school. It goes by so fast anyway, I miss them already.
2. Praying!!!! Lots of changes. I now have two young adults and 2 at home and it’s so hard to release them. I went from knowing everything to not and allowing them to make their own decisions.
3. We planted potatoes, carrots, butter leaf lettuce and sprouts
Family building – questions 1 & 2 are the same for me. Remembering to take pictures when we’re together is one of them; something I didn’t appreciate when I was young, but am so grateful that my mom insisted. She is now gone, and those pictures are priceless. We also have 6 grandchildren, ages 4 – 17, and we try to go to as many activities as possible (sports, concerts, plays, etc.) to show our support. Sometimes that means we go separate ways when more than one grandchild has something on the same day/time. They notice! It matters to them; they also notice most of the other sets of grandparents don’t show up, not even when it’s close to home. Another thing we do is to give the gift an experience together for birthdays and Christmas, rather than just things. They look forward to the adventures!
Lastly, the gardening – our buys schedules don’t allow time for that, so we just plant cherry tomatoes and buy other produce from local farm markets.
*our busy schedules, not buys!
In raising our kids I have never regretted prioritizing taking them to church weekly. Right now we are encouraging our adult kids to pay off school loans and find a church they can invest in. This summer I am excited about trying to grow parsnips.
I recently left my full time career to be a stay at home, homeschool momma. I know this time is worth way more than any salary. What we are gaining as a family and my time with my kids will be my best investment with the greatest gains over time 🙂