This morning, as all of my guys were headed out the door to surf, I had a brief interaction with one of my boys in which I raised my voice justenough to make a point, and…well, got a little bossy. They were in a rush, so the two of us didn’t exactly work through things or even have the chance to kiss and make up before he left, and for that — I felt a little bad. But not that bad. The truth was: That son needed it, and he knew he needed it. I had no regrets over what I had said, or even the firm tone with which I said it. That particular situation called for me to be a #bossmom.
Well, just after that I took off on a run; I always think best when I run. That is when I realized that for all of my blogging about things like connecting with your kids, and speaking words of life, and even laughing and enjoying your kids, I hope I’m clear that I write about those things because I NEED those things. The truth is, I’m wired to be on the feisty side. I’ve even wondered if I would have been good in the military when I catch glimpses of myself hollering things like ‘LINE UP BOYS!” so that I can have a good talking-to with my crew of four sons.
But what really hit me, was that I probably usually write as if YOU are all wired like me. And though I’m sure some of you are, (high fives) I also realize that many of you are NOT LIKE ME.
Some of you are actually wired to be…NICE. Sweet. Soft-spoken, and all of the things I aspire to be more of. (Bless your heart!) Some of you don’t yell much, and you might actually struggle to get bossy, even when you really need to.
By the time I was back from my run and in the shower (the second best place for my thoughts) I realized that I had a message for moms. It’s a message for those tender sweet mommas, who might just need to dig deep and find their inner #bossmom. And it’s a message for those of us on the tougher-end of the spectrum, who might need some reminders about stewarding our bossy sides well.
So real quick-like, while the guys were still out surfing, I sat down and recorded my message. It’s unedited, real and raw. And since I was trying to get through it quickly, and had a lot of points to share, I am including the basic outline of my message at the bottom! (Printable version!)
Enough said. I hope you enjoy!
Here’s the outline — you can fill in the notes:
Giving your kids the Tough Love they need, and Getting the Respect you Deserve
3 motivations for parenting with authority
- YOU deserve respect.
If you need a reminder, just list a few of the things you do each day to serve your family…Enough said.
- It’s for their GOOD.
- It’s Biblical; It’s the natural order of things in all cultures throughout time.
(It’s the only commandment with a promise!)
3 Essential Elements to being a #bossmom
- It must be done in a loving environment
(the sandwich principle.) Connect first.
- You must be CLEAR on what you’re asking/requiring
(Pick your battles.) (Limit your list.)
- You must be consistent.
If it mattered yesterday, it should matter today.
3 Practical tips for getting properly BOSSY:
- Get their attention. Speak up if you must. (don’t yell, just one octave will do.)
- Be prepared with consequences.
- Give reasons/motivations.
Motivate them with how this affects their future.
You care. LOVE WELL. GIVE GRACE. AND be an epic #BOSSMOM!
Share in comments? Perhaps I can take an unofficial poll of my readers…
Do you tend towards the BOSSY side, or are you a quieter type of mom? Either way: Have you learned to compensate, find balance, and get the respect you deserve? I love hearing your stories, so hope you’ll leave a comment below. Also: Subscribe to my blog to receive future posts, HERE, and be sure to Subscribe to my YouTube channel to be the first to know when new videos come out!