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18 Comments

  1. Gosh this article was read at the time I needed it the most.
    lately life is very challenging
    I feel #momfail and a bit frustrated…..
    Being mom with three boys (one teen, the special-middle-one and the toddler), without home-assistant/maid and stacks of office work is very…. breath puffing…
    The special one surprises me all the time… with good and bad ones.
    But then again , I ‘ve never done this before and i will always learn to live my life better…
    Thank you for sharing your inspiring article

  2. Wow….I think I really needed to read this right now. I don’t have kids (yet), but my life is full of new things I’m trying to figure out. New at blogging (or new-ish at least), new at running an Etsy store, and so many other things. And just this morning feeling like a failure because I don’t have it all flowing perfectly or all figured out. Thank you for the reminder to give myself some grace.

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Oh my goodness I am glad I finally got to this post. Transition/change/haven’t done this before…you name it! We left England a year ago,spent a year in Kansas for my husband to do a school program and after seeing family in Michigan, PA, and VA have landed in Germany for a few years. And I found out over the summer that I am pregnant with our 3rd. We have been in a new house a week, a new culture a month, and in theory should start back to homeschooling shortly. Feeling like its SO much to process and we just have to keep going to get unpacked and moved in etc. Thank you for taking the time to sort through intentional thoughts for someone like me whose mind is all a clutter 😊. There was a chance of us moving to Oahu at one point and it would have been fun to meet you. Have been a subscriber for awhile now and am truly encouraged to have someone with some perspective for the journey as I have two boys, 7 and 2. You are wonderful to share all that you have learned and continue to learn! Especially as we are military and move around so much that it’s it’s hard to find someone like you in my day to day life every time we move.

  4. This message is very timely as my job has changed, and my son is getting married (in Sweden; we are on the way there now)and I have been feeling rather overwhelmed……..grace is needed because I haven’t done any of this before……..words to ponder and embrace…thank you

    1. Oh wow Janice! So much grace to you…It’s all new. You’ll do great. And i hope you have a wonderful time in Sweden! (I dream of going to Sweden!) Much aloha and thank you for taking the time to comment!

  5. Catherine says:

    That is so true. I always say jokingly I’m a jellyfish parent. I go with the flow. I do the best I can in any situation but we don’t have a specific parenting style. We mostly eat made from scratch meals and my babies have never seen a prepared store bought baby food, yet they eat French fries and bits of pizza when we go out. I pray for them and for guidance and apart from that it is just common sense and a lot of grace. Our elder has developmental delays and a result our younger one is way ahead, as we are so used to stimulating the eldest as per therapists instructions. What I’ve learned is it isn’t me, it is us. Each child is different, and nothing that I’ve done has caused it. We try our best together and go with the flow.

  6. Oh Monica! This was incredibly encouraging and spot on!! I have been struggling lately with how many masks are put on at church. I am guilty of this too because who wants to be the only one bawling their head off or walking around with no smile? Currently we have two beautiful teenage daughters…need I say more!!! Thankfully God always walks ahead of us down these new (and scary, vulnerable, treacherous) paths. My favorite attribute about God is that He never changes! Can you imagine how hard life would be if He did?
    Thank you for always sharing from your heart and exposing your human-ness(forgive the spelling as Dictionary.com was no help)…its VERY refreshing!!
    Bless you!!!

  7. Omg. This article is spot on and every mom should read this. thank you for being real and calling it like it is.
    We need to be BFFS. Lol

    1. Oh thank you Nancy. Such sweet words! And I’d love to be your BFF. 😉 XO

  8. Angela Carr says:

    Thank you for this wonderful post. I am a parent of 4 children aged 18 down to 6. I have often found myself saying “I just thought I would be so much better at parenting than this.” I will now replace that with “I have never done this before, but I am doing my best.” It is certainly not an easy thing parenting, but love compels us to keep on keeping on. It is challenging and heart wrenching sometimes, but there are moments of wonderful that make it all worth while. Thank you for sharing you heart.

  9. Thanks for this, Monica! Very timely for me! We are going to try your system for chores. So much of what we’ve tried has stirred up a lot of frustration. Your post made me think how we need to have grace with do-overs or re-works when things aren’t working. I love your blog. My husband reads any post I send his way and really is encouraged.

  10. Thank you so much for this beautiful post. Just what I needed to hear today. I sent it to several friends and many responded it was “just what I needed to hear today” too. Works in progress… all of us.

    1. Oh thank you Natalie. That makes me so happy. Bless you and have a great weekend! 😉

  11. Ya know… sometimes I think God is sending me encouragement and Grace through your writing, Monica. I can’t tell you how often something is occupying my thoughts- like taking up way too much of my energy- and then a post that feels like it was written for me pops up and provides fresh prospective at just the right moment. I can’t thank you enough, because I do deserve a lot more Grace than I allow. Funny how I am full of Grace for others- the co-worker who didn’t finish her part of the project, the mom who couldn’t drive carpool-again, or the secretary at the gymnastics studio who asked us to reschedule a class only to discover she gave us the wrong time after we left the pool party and arrived to an empty gym… I need to try it out on myself-because it is so true-I have never done this before! Aloha and thanks- Monica!

    1. Oh thank you Shannon! Yes, you are so right. And I actually had a line about that in my post (how easily we extend grace to others) and somewhere it was removed and now I just might have to add that back! 🙂 You are so right. I hope you truly apply this because as far as I can tell if anyone is doing the best she can…it is you! You’re awesome. Much aloha —

  12. Thank you for the inspiring article! I think as parents we do beat ourselves up in whether we have done or are doing the best for our kids. It’s the hardest job in the world. I was told by my boys first nanny when my twins were infants to pray for them early… For when they go to school with friends, pray for good quality friends, For when they start driving for safety and protection. And for their future wife to be the one God has chosen for them. I found that has been such great advice I have never forgotten her kind words!

    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment, Christa. Yes that is great advice you shared–love it. I’ve mentioned on my blog before that my Mother in law also taught my husband to start praying for me when he was very young…And I am so glad! 😉 Much aloha to you-