I’ve been so encouraged to hear from people all over the world who have read my book, (The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny Friends) and shared their stories with me. Most people tell me the book has helped them lose weight, or find greater freedom and peace in their relationship with food, exercise, and their body.
But when I was tagged last week on a girl named Kramer’s instagram account, it was different. Kramer wasn’t talking about weight loss or exercise addiction. Instead, she put the spotlight directly onto Chapter Two of my book, where I ask some hard questions…questions that inspired Kramer to face her own bullies and soon after, to pen a most incredible poem in response.
“By age 21 I thought insecure was just what I was. So over the past few years I’ve been learning to overcome it. Prayer and learning about God’s character have helped a ton and also I would read any book that sounded like it could shine a light on my insecurity. I heard about The Secret of Your Naturally Skinny friends on one of Sadie Robertson’s youtube videos. I’ve always struggled with body image & comparison so I bought it a few days later!
The “journal it” section of chapter 2 was when I knew that God wanted me to read this book! Your questions were, “What have you believed about yourself and your body? Have you lived with some false beliefs that you just now realized have dragged you down? How does that make you feel? When & where did these thoughts begin?” I read those questions and got so excited. Every book I’ve read or sermon I’ve watched about insecurity just suggested that I “move on” “victory is already yours.” But when you’ve heard lies (said straight to your face in most cases) for that many years it kinda becomes a part of you. Every attempt to move on and claim victory failed because I was wearing heavy rags of other people’s opinions. When I read those questions I couldn’t grab my journal fast enough. No one had ever suggested that I “go there”. Go back to where it all started. Write down who said what. Write down how it made you feel and the things it caused you to believe about yourself. So I did. I went crazy in my journal. I wrote down everything in detail. It felt so good to get it all out but once I did I thought “Man, no wonder I’m so messed up! People have said some pretty hurtful things to me.”
The next day I was at work (I’m a manager and barista at a local coffee shop) and everything I had written down was still so heavy on my heart and mind. I could feel God stirring my spirit then as He started giving me lines. I couldn’t help but listen. The rest of the morning in between taking orders and making lattes I would run to my journal and write. Because I was in a hurry (still trying to do my job) it was sloppy and all over the place but it was turning into something. Before I knew it I had this thing that I had written. The crazy part was that I had always wanted to write spoken word but had never even tried. Another crazy thing was that, because of your questions, I wrote down insults from my past and almost every one of them I wrote down, God turned into a line. Then he turned all of those jumbled lines into my first spoken word poem.
I will be forever grateful for your questions forcing me to be honest with myself. Your book truly helped me find a gift I didn’t know I had and one that I hope I can keep doing (along with blogging) for a long time.
(and as always, if the video does not show up you might refresh the page and it should be there! :))